I’m fortunate in that I’ve made a lot of money and spent very little of it living on the road, but that doesn’t mean I can sit on my ass the rest of my life. And if I’m not working with Axel, my ass has no reason parking itself in Katah Vista. It’s not exactly a hotbed of activity for motocross. Or cameramen.
No, my future probably doesn’t lie in the valley, which means not making any plans is the smart move. That doesn’t mean I want Blake to leave without a proper goodbye.
I leap out of bed and hold out my hand. “Since we’re both in a rush, we better make this quick.”
“Make what quick?” He studies my hand a second before taking it.
“Getting each other clean.” I pull him up and lead him to the bathroom, where I make sure we’re both spotless, after we get dirty of course.
Chapter four
Blake
My last moments with Jace run through my mind on a constant loop as I get dressed, making it hard to concentrate.
“How does this work?”
He pauses at the door, tilting his head to the side as he studies me. “How does what work?”
“The morning after goodbye. It’s not really a thing when you’re just having a quickie at the spa.” My neck heats up as the words leave my mouth.
Jace’s eyes grow wide. “You think I’m any better at this? I usually pretend to be passed out.”
“You sound even more shallow than me.” I can’t stop the laugh bubbling up from my chest, which expands fully, knowing I’m not the only one who tries to avoid these awkward situations. Strangely, this moment doesn’t feel awkward. Justunfinished.That doesn’t feel like something I should admit, though.
“I guess I’m better at sex than being a gentleman or whatever.” He rubs a hand over the back of his neck.
“Hey, at least you brought me back to your room. I don’t usually make it past the massage table. Or get the other person’s name.” I blow out afrustrated breath, wondering if my attempt to lighten the mood went too far. Fortunately, he doesn’t seem offended.
“Don’t give me too much credit. I still kept you up most of the night knowing full well you have a big meeting today.” He presses his lips together, eyes traveling over my body.
“And you’ve got a big drive.” My expression mirrors his.
“One more for the road.” Jace’s strong hand wraps around my neck and pulls me forward, crushing my lips to his in a bruising, breathless kiss. “Now get out of here before you make us both late.” He gives me a sexy little wink as he opens the door, and I steal one last kiss before I dart into the hall.
As far as goodbyes go, I think it went okay. If only I could kick this,I wish it didn’t have to end,feeling. I didn’t say anything about it—neither did Jace—but in my gut I have a feeling we’re both thinking it. We also both seemed to sense that saying something out loud might ruin it.
Taking one last look in the mirror—my button down bike shirt is respectable without being too formal—I grab my room key and head to the elevator, trying not to trip over my feet since my mind seems to have trouble telling them how to work.
Maybe I should’ve asked for his number?
No. Call it years of living with a secret, but for my part, asking to see him again when I’m not out doesn’t seem fair. Even though he’s not shouting from the rooftops that he’s bi, Jace doesn’t appear to be hiding the truth the way I am. Asking to see him again when I can’t promise if or when I’ll come out seems selfish.
I might've spoken up if his best friend hadn’t just moved to Katah Vista. Hinted at another meetup someplace like this where I don’t know anyone and am free to do what I like. But with Axel living a few minutes away from me it seems like there’s a decent chance I’ll crosspaths with Jace again, so I figured I’d play it cool instead of trying to force something. Plus, if we bump into each other naturally that’d be a pretty big sign.
It's hard to explain, but something about being born this way left me with the sense I’m not fully in control. After all, being gay isn’t exactly an easy life, so I wouldn’t have chosen it. I guess that’s why I always believed that when—if—I find the one I'm meant to spend my life with, that’s when I’d tell people about my sexuality.
I honestly never counted on finding anyone since Katah Vista is such a small town, and I’m only letting myself wonder about it now since it’s become a reality for a few of my friends. Some people might call that believing in fate, and to a certain extent I think that’s true, although it’s just as much about practicality. Letting circumstance determine the outcome.
I’m not saying it'll make Jacethe oneif we run into each other again, though at that point, I'd probably take it as a sign worth paying attention to, especially after the night we just shared. And I’m not just referring to the part between the sheets. Yes, the sex wasphenomenal—hands down the best I’ve ever had—and yeah, that’s a huge part of what’s making it so hard for me to concentrate. But what’s really got my mind spinning is that all the time before and in between sex was just as incredible.
Jace and I have lots of the same interests, from bikes to movies to food. He’s more worldly than I am, having traveled all over to film Axel’s videos and attend his events, and as a result he’s got a huge network of friends all around the world. But he never made me feel inferior about that. Actually, he seemed intrigued by my whole small-town existence, even though it plays a role in keeping me in the closet.
It didn’t feel like he was judging me for wanting to stay put, or for using my job as a way to explore and satisfy my needs. It was a huge relief, considering he isn’t actively keeping secrets the way I am. I appreciate the fact he didn’t challenge my reasons or press me to change my habits. He just accepted me at face value.
All in all, I felt comfortable with Jace in a way I haven’t experienced with anyone else before. I guess that’s why, if there is a man in my future, I could see it being him. And why I’m sort of hoping this morning isn’t the last time I see him. But I’ve never tried to force anything with someone I had an interest in, and I’m not going to start now. Whatever happens, happens. In the meantime, I’ll just take each day as it comes, the way I always have.
***
