At least Ben will like my sleepwear, I think to myself.
Ben.
My Ben.
Thank god I didn’t forget about Ben.
I check the other side of the bed, as if I could have somehow missed seeing him next to me.
I still remember him, but he isn’t here.
Is he back in his own apartment? Does he still remember me?
If he does, is he grateful for this clean break? The fact that he won’t have to let me down easy because I have no clue how to get in contact with him?
No. I’m not going to let myself think like that. What Ben and I had was real, and I will find him. Sure, Manhattan’s population is huge, but the island is only thirteen miles long. If I have to knock on every door, I will.
A piercing ring erupts from the nightstand, and I practically jump out of my skin.
My cell phone sits on the white marble tabletop, blaring at me to pick it up. It’s loud and obnoxious and jarring.
To think there was a moment in time when I missed having it in my hand.
I swipe to accept the call. “Hello?”
“Where are you?” It may have been months since I’ve heard her voice, but there’s no mistaking my grandmother’s tone.
“I just woke up.”
“Just woke up? Jesus, Campbell, it’s almost ten o’clock. We have the meeting with Coleman and Sons in half an hour. Get your ass here, now.”
“Right, will do.” I hop out of bed, my almost Pavlovianresponse to her commands kicking in. “I’m so sorry I’ve been gone for so long, I’m sure you’ve been wondering where I was.”
“I saw you yesterday. Right before you left the office.”
“Yesterday?”
“Yes, you had a date with that doctor. How did it go? He’d make a perfectly respectable partner, he’s handsome enough. You aren’t getting any younger, Campbell, and I want to make sure the future of the firm is secured.”
“Wait.” It takes a minute for my brain to put the pieces together. “My date with Ben was last night? The meeting with Coleman and Sons is today?”
“Good god, Campbell, are you drunk? Do you seriously not know what day it is?”
“I have to go.”
“Be here in fifteen minutes,” she commands, her directive echoing in my ear as I close out of the call.
But I have no intention of making my way to the office.
I’m home. No real time seems to have passed. But I remember Ben. I remember Heart Springs. I remember everything.
I race to my closet, throwing open the door, and expecting the perfect outfit to be there waiting for me. But this is my regular old closet, so I have to rifle through the racks of suits to find normal clothes.
Ben doesn’t care what I look like anyway, I tell myself as I grab the first pair of jeans I find. A quick look in the mirror reminds me I no longer wake up with my hair and makeup done, which really is a shame, but I don’t care enough to spend time putting myself together. I need to see Ben, and if he made it back home, if this whole thing was real, if hewoke up and remembered everything we went through together in Heart Springs, then there’s only one place he’ll be.
Stepping out of my building onto the busy streets of Manhattan should feel like a screech of a wake-up call. And it is, but after a few deep breaths of city air, I realize how good it feels to be home.
I raise my arm to hail a cab, but one look down the traffic-filled street lets me know it would take an hour to get the few blocks I need to travel. So, I put my arm down and start walking, ignoring the cabbie who’d been about to pull over for me as he yells “Bitch!” out the window.
