His eyes burn into my cheek like the sunburn I know I’ll have in the morning, but I avoid turning my head. “For what?”
He inches his hand a little closer to mine, leaving just the tiniest sliver of space between our pinkies. “For including me. And accepting me.”
I brush my little finger against his. It’s the faintest hint of contact, but it zings through every inch of me.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve felt included.” His pinky finger moves over mine, locking them together.
I turn to meet his gaze, but his eyes are back on the sky above. “It could never work between us, Jack.” I mean it to come out as a joke, a pinprick in the tiny bubble of sexual tension that’s been steadily growing between us. But the truth of the words makes them heavy. He’s too good, too pure, a nice guy from top to bottom and back to front. And I’m none of those things. I’m the antithesis of those things. We’re two vastly different people from vastly different worlds, with lifestyles that could never mesh.
“I know.”
I suck in a breath, the words crumpling my heart like it’s a wadded-up piece of paper. It’s one thing to know I’m not good enough. It’s another to hear it straight from him.
His head shifts away from the stars, finally meeting my eyes. “I’m still an absolute mess, Sadie. I would wreck you. And I could never forgive myself for that.”
I tighten my hold on his pinky, mimicking the tightening in my chest. “Jack...”
He brings our joined hands up, kissing my palm before releasing my finger. “We should head back.”
My lungs ache like I just got the wind knocked out of me. Which I did. I want to yank him back down to the blanket and demand we talk this out, because clearly this cannot be the end of the conversation. I can’t let him walk away from this beach thinking he’s the problem when I’m so clearly the destroyer between us.
But Jack is already gathering the blankets, folding them up and tucking them under his arm. He holds out a hand to help me stand, and I take it, even though the feel of his skin on mine is like ice-cold fire.
We walk back to the house in complete silence. At the bottom of the stairs, he gives me a sad smile, squeezing my hand before heading off to his room without another word.
I stand there in the dark for a few minutes before I finally force my feet to carry me up the stairs, where I fall into bed and, thankfully, into an alcohol-and-heartache-induced sleep.
GEMMA:So when were you going to tell us the big news, Sade?
ME:Is the news that I’m still in bed because I was at the bar until 3 am because my business totally sucks and I’m going to be a bartender for the rest of my life?
HARLEY:Maybe you should go check your Instagram, hon.
ME:Holy fuck, I have almost 500 new followers!
GEMMA:Yeah you do! Look who tagged you!
ME:OH MY GOD. SHE HAS 2M FOLLOWERS!!!!!!!!!
ME:Guys, I have like 100 DMs!
ME:Hopefully some of them aren’t dicks!
GEMMA:If you see any good-looking dicks, feel free to send them my way.
HARLEY:Gross.
HARLEY:Congrats, Sadie! This could be a major turning point!
ME:I gotta go, time to sell some motherfuckin’ flowers!
JACK:I don’t have any plans on Saturday if you need help making deliveries.
JACK:I know I lack the signature Sadie charm, but I’m around if you need me.
ME:That’s very sweet, but I can’t ask you to work for me for free and I can’t afford to pay you.
JACK:I really don’t mind.
