I set my things by the kitchen sink. “It’s fine. I haven’t been sleeping well. It’ll give me something to do.”
I walked past him, taking in his strong shoulders, his messy, shaggy hair, and the way his head was tipped down like he was contemplating world peace.
“How did you move on?” he asked quietly. “How did you know everything that happened, and then just go live your life?”
I stopped before turning out of the kitchen. Overwhelming guilt crushed my lungs and constricted my throat. “When my parents crashed, I struggled to breathe for what felt like an eternity. The life I’d known was over after that accident. I know I’m selfish, but I wasn’t willing to give up another life just because I’d wanted to stop being smothered.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Jonah
I turned Summer’s words over and over in my head. I was parked on the couch and it was well after midnight. I’d have a shit time returning to my normal hours if I stayed up late and slept in late.
I wasn’t willing to give up another life just because I’d wanted to stop being smothered.
The fury I felt toward her was shifting, changing direction like the wind outside. My brother was the next target.
How terrible was I?
Eli was gone. I was his older brother. I should’ve taught him better. I should’ve talked to him, asked him how things were going.
I had, but casually, like most brothers did. A random announcement.Hey, I’m here if you need me.Eli had never needed me. He’d been private about Summer. He’dclaimed that he didn’t kiss and tell, and I’d never asked. I hadn’t wanted to hear how magical kissing Summer was.
Now that I knew, I was in a special hell.
She’d retreated to the guest room. She’d said she’d give me space, then leave. She’d done it before.
Fifteen years had gone by.
Then four days earlier, she’d walked in on me.
Did I want to risk another fifteen years before she came into my orbit again?
I was a shitty brother.
Yet... I couldn’t deny Summer’s experience. She’d been unhappy with Eli. She shouldn’t have had to stay with him to protect his feelings. Getting over a breakup had been his responsibility.
She’d tried to do the right thing by not leading Eli on. Then again, when I’d been in the hospital and she’d known I was blaming myself. But I’d insulted her, assuming she was there to hit on me after I’d been gawked at for months in my hometown. After I’d hobbled through town, getting averted stares from women I’d dated.
Jackie still didn’t associate with me in public. I was her worst-kept dirty secret.
I frowned at the TV. What the fuck was playing? I had let the predictive option go wild and choose my next viewing, and now I was in the middle of a rom-com that I hadn’t paid one second of attention to. I let it play.
Stretching my legs in front of me, I groaned. My joints had a general ache that was more from the barometric pressure than working outside. Exhaustion swamped me. Pure mental exhaustion. I’d been in a world of not knowing why for so long, taking on theburden of the accident and the outcome, and I’d been fucking terrified of being angry with Eli.
Now that I was? It wasn’t bad. Just a general yawning chasm that would never be filled because he was gone. I stood on the edge and holleredWhat were you thinking?and I didn’t get an answer. I never would and that was okay. Because I’d been taken out of the equation.
If Summer’s infatuation had been just that, maybe I would’ve raged for longer, but fuck, I was tired. She had squirmed on my lap and moaned my name. I wasn’t fucking twenty-four. I would be forty next year. And she still wanted me.
What would I do about it?
My dick stirred, wanting more of the laundry room action.
“Down, boy,” I murmured. I couldn’t fall on her after I’d accused her of being coldhearted at the table.
She might not want me after how I’d acted.
But I could apologize. I could tell her I understood. I could give her that. The comment she’d made about karma might’ve been flippant, but there was some validity there. Teenaged Summer would’ve never put up with someone like Boyd.
