“W-why?” Sutton breaks around the words. “You lied?”
“I lied when I said I started it.”
“Why?” she asks again.
“Because I wanted to protect you. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Protect me?” Her voice cracks. “Telling me you started it is what broke me. Not what people said.”
I hate her tone. Hate the images in my head of her in bed, eyes probably welling up, pulling at her curls or arms wrapped protectively around herself like I wish I could.
“I know…but I need you to believe that telling you I did was to protect you.”
“Why should I believe you?”
“Because you know me better than anyone else, and I think we can both agree deep down you never thought I did it.”
“Will you tell me who started it then? I assume you know.”
I wish I didn’t. “Dave, if I tell you, what’s that going to change? What is that going to do for you now?”
Isn’t it good enough knowing it’s not me? I would ask that, but it sounds too desperate in my head.
She sighs. “Nothing, I suppose. It was years ago, and I’ve mov—” Sutton stops mid-word, but I know exactly the lie she was about to say absentmindedly.
“Were you really about to say you’ve moved on?”
“I’d like to think I have recently.” Her tone lightens, a playful edge to it. “Wouldn’t you agree?”
“I would. Can I ask you something now?”
“Sure.”
“Can we officially be bestfriendsagain?” Friends. Because if one thing should change, then it has to be this.
She laughs and if it isn’t the best sound, I don’t know what is. I haven’t traveled much, but I bet Sutton has the best laugh in the world.
“No.” She’s teasing me. “But I’ll think about it. Might have to see if I have any open slots.”
“Fine. Just know that I might not be your best friend, but you’ve always been my best friend.” I swear I can hear her eyeroll. “And I’m going to prove it to you.”
“Give it your best shot, Carmichael.”
“Dave?”
“Yeah?”
“What are you wearing under my shirt?”
Her laughter floats through the phone, filling my eardrum and bedroom. I press the phone closer to my ear as if I could lock the sound inside my head.
“Goodnight, Carmichael.”
She hangs up, and I fall asleep with a smile on my face.
TWENTY-ONE
SUTTON
