“Stop it.” He was doing his best to keep his face blank and his emotions locked deep inside.
“It’s all right to hurt,” she added, softer.
“Stop it.”
He could not deal with them being kind to him. Supportive. Understanding. He could remain stoic just as long as no one put the feelings he was trying to hide into words.
“You can go back home if you want,” he told them without tearing his gaze from the receding royal ship. “While your umbrellas still hold.”
“And you?”
“I’m going to watch until the ship is completely gone.”
Perhapsthenhe’d be ready to walk away.
Perhaps.
“Then we stay,” said Marjorie.
The siblings’ umbrellas were open now, huddled close to form a protective barrier between them and the sky.
Graham didn’t want an umbrella. He needed Kuni.
Jacob smiled despite the rain. “She made the Wynchester salute.”
“I taught her,” Chloe said with pride.
Graham hadn’t thought she would do it back. While the boat was anchored was one thing, but rocking in a storm…Kuni must have been terrified. But she’d been brave enough to return the gesture anyway. He knew she was still there at the railing. Fighting panic. For him.
“Did I see her brothers with her?” Marjorie asked.
“Charming fellows,” Graham muttered. “They said she might not return, no matter what her wishes.”
“Not return!” Elizabeth said in surprise. “Why not?”
“According to her brothers, the probability of her becoming a Guardswoman is doubtful at best. She’ll have lost her post and her status on this trip. Without a royal connection, she won’t be accompanying the royal family anywhere.”
No one could think of anything to say.
“She’s afraid of the water,” he added inanely, as ifthatwere the obstacle keeping them apart. “She can’t swim.”
Even if shecouldswim, no one in their right mind would attempt such folly in water this rough. It was a good thing Kuni was in a large, sturdy ship and not a light, tiny water boat.
No, it was abadthing. He didn’t want her onanyboat. He wanted her here, in his arms, forever. But it was not what Kuni wanted. The sea was taking her away.
The same sick panic Kuni felt on the open sea was how Graham felt inside, too.
“Iwould make a handsome Royal Guardsman,” Tommy said to Philippa. “And there is no chance in hell Prinny would appoint me to the position.”
Graham stopped listening to his family.
Kuni didn’t want him enough to stay. Had never seriously considered him as a possibility. She had been planning to leave from the moment they met, and in the end, nothing she’d seen or experienced could tempt her to choose love.
Nothing Graham had shared with her, not himself, his soul, his family, his life, his body—none of it had changed her mind.
If he was honest, what could he offer her?
Something like:Relinquish your raison d’être, your family, your friends, your home, your dreams, your legacy, your castle, your palace, your prince who wishes to court you, your close ties with a princess, your promise to your father…and stay here with me, far away from everything you cherish most, for no other reason than because I love you?
