My sleep was fitful and filled with unrest. I wished I could say it was only due to the panic about the magical dagger underneath my pillow or the fear that soldiers were going to ram down my door before throwing me behind bars to die…But it was a bit more complicated than that. As in, Gabe’s words were on repeat in my head. They weighed heavily on me as I considered the reality of what he suggested.
The idea of being welcomed anywhere with open arms seemed foreign to me. Nearly as insane as considering following him down to the human’s world, knowing he’d be the only person I knew in a foreign land. I knew nothing of what I would face there. There were too many unknown factors for such a massive decision, and that set me on edge. I was someone who wanted all of the answers in front of me so I could make an informed decision. I mean, even in my darkest moments, I only considered the fall in theory, never reality. As I told Gabe, I didn’t have the courage to fall and leave my life behind for one of uncertainty…right?
A strangled groan left my throat as I sat up in bed, giving up on the idea of sleep. “Thanks for that, Gabe,” I muttered under my breath.
I took my time getting ready, washing my face in the ensuite bathroom before pulling my hair into two long braids that ran down my back. While I didn’t know what I would face with Ronan today, I could assume that it would require physicality to some extent. I found myself both excited and nervous about the prospect of how the rest of my testing would go. I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t also excited to see him and Niz too. Their support a few days ago meant everything in that moment, and I found myself craving that feeling of safety again.
As I finished getting ready, dressed in a pair of dark leather pants and loose tank that was paired with a tan colored jacket and black boots, I looked toward my pillow with indecision. I dragged my lip between my teeth, nibbling on it. The dagger stayed there all night without moving, but I was a bit concerned that if I tried to leave the room, it would suddenly appear in my possession. It wouldn’t do any good to be carrying around a stolen weapon when security was probably still scouring the area.
Pulling back the pillow I narrowed my eyes at the damned weapon, wondering why we had such an intense connection and what it could possibly mean.
A hard rap on the door had my heart jumping into my throat as I froze.
“Stay!” I hissed in panic at the dagger, as if the object could hear me, before throwing the pillow back down on top of it and adjusting the blankets to look neat and presentable. A secondary, harder knock sounded, and I could sense the impatience of my visitor growing.
Walking toward the door, I pulled it open and stared up at the one person I really hadn’t wanted to see this morning. Hint:It wasn’t my mom.
“Kieran. You’re awake.”
I offered a wide-eyed expression, surprised by my father’s appearance—not because he hadn’t been on my ass incessantly for the past few days about studying but because he never came to my room.Ever.His gaze was critical as I considered his words, clearly waiting for my response.
I was sure if I opened my mouth to say one thing that a rude comment might slip out instead. Like “What the hell are you doing here?” or “Haven’t you bothered me enough?”
“I am,” I settled on with a small nod. “What are you doing here? You never come to my room.”
“We need to talk.”
It wasn’t a question, just a demand. With that, he stepped into my room and moved past me, my chest squeezing anxiously at the gross invasion of privacy and the boundaries that he paid absolutely no mind to. Even my mom’s presence in my room could put me on edge, but having him in my space? My skin crawled.
I found myself going to sit on the edge of my bed after closing the door, wanting to distance myself from him. I eyed him cautiously as he paced near the balcony, clearly in thought.
A sobering thought slapped me in the face. This couldn’t be about last night,right? My nerves spiked. That was impossible. If he knew about my part in what happened, the bastard would have just sent for soldiers to take me prisoner—I had no doubt about it.
“Talk about what?” I questioned gently as I tilted my chin up, trying to keep my brain from going a million miles an hour or revealing the path that my thoughts were slipping down. I couldn’t afford to give myself away.
“I know about last night.” My heart dropped into my stomach as I stared at him, trying to read his expression and finding it perfectly controlled in a mask of indifference.
This didn’t seem like the right reaction if he was talking about what I thought he was, though. There was no way. I mean, he had known I was in the library studying, but that was it. Mrs. Sadria could vouch for my whereabouts and that I’d left the building with her.
Holy shit.
My mind whirled. I’d left the book I checked out on the counter just inside the front door of the library after going back inside with Gage. She saw me leave with it as I walked out with her.Fuck fuck fuck.She would know I was involved. Hell, she would know that I was one of the only individuals who spent most of the day there and was the last to leave! Hell, anyone could put two and two together if they checked the book log…How had I not considered that?
I swallowed down my panic, adrenaline surging through me. I was fucking terrified of where this conversation was going.
When I stayed silent, my father eventually continued, “You stayed at the library until closing to study, as you have for the past few days in a row.”
Oh.Oh, thank fuck. I was barely able to hold in the sigh of relief that wanted to woosh out of me.
“Of course,” I tried to recover, my throat tight with the anxious tension rolling through me. “I wanted to be as prepared as possible.”
His nod was sharp as he offered me what seemed to be an evaluative gaze. “If you actually studied during all those hours, instead of dreaming about boys or whatever it is you do normally, this is the first time I think you have shown any initiative on anything regarding your placement.”
Ouch.
“I wouldn’t say the first time,” I argued, feeling progressively more frustrated with him now that I understood he wasn’t accusing me of being involved with the library incident. He’d stopped by to comment on my work ethic.
Unease prickled up my spine at this strange behavior. I didn’t trust this faux-calm version of him. There was nothing in my soul that believed he was here to simply compliment my studying habits all of a sudden.
