With a heavy sigh, he put the book and dagger on the floor before giving me his full attention.
“There is a specialist here, whose name I won’t reveal for their safety, who saved me from what was to come during an early placement test,” he started, making my brain whirl withquestions. “They alerted me to the signs that led them to believe I had one of the dead affinities, and they told me I needed to leave before it was discovered—or before I aged out and lost my wings.”
“Your shapeshifting abilities?” I questioned, having now seen it for myself. It still boggled my mind that someone could do that.More so, what was a dead affinity?
He nodded before leaning to rest his forearms on his knees, dropping his gaze to the floor. “I had to leave everything behind and tell no one, not even my family. No one could know I’d escaped, because that would leave the question ofwhyI left when I seemingly had a perfect life.”
There were details that still didn’t add up to me, so I asked, “But how did I see your dead body in a casket at your funeral?”
A lifeless laugh huffed from him. “I can also change someone else’s appearance, but it nearlydidkill me to expend that kind of energy so early on in learning my abilities. As soon as the specialist at testing told me of their suspicions, all I had to do was think of what I wanted to happen and the shift occurred, confirming their thoughts. It was a risky part of my plan to assume I could transform a body from the morgue, but thankfully it panned out.”
He sat up after grabbing the book from the floor, looking over at me in alarm.
“What?” I asked defensively. I hadn’t done anything to earn that look.
“The dagger,” he mused, flicking his eyes down to my lap. Glancing down, I was surprised to find it laying there. “It seems to be bound to you, but I don’t know how or why.”
A feeling of contentment flowed through me like a cold, rushing river as I ran my finger along the flat part of the gleaming blade. “Could it be a spell?” I asked, circling back to my earlier theory.
“If it is, there’s nothing I can do about it, but this gravely complicates the situation,” he admitted before reaching for my hand and squeezing it gently. “I don’t say this lightly, Little Star, but if that dagger doesn’t make its way to the fallen with that book, the world as we know it is going to end.”
I instantly jerked my hand from his, scooting a few inches away from him instinctively. “What do you mean? What is in that book and what does this dagger do?”
His chest rose and fell with a big breath, his gaze momentarily tracking the distance between us. “It’s a complete text of the dead abilities and all of the information on each. The dagger is tied to one of them.”
That wasn’t cryptic or anything.
“Kieran,” he started, startling me at the use of my real name, making me concerned at how quickly I’d grown accustomed to the nickname. “I know you aren’t happy here. Have you considered falling on your own accord, before they can take your wings?”
I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly feeling parched at the question. “I’d be a liar if I said no,” I admitted softly, turning my gaze back to the dagger in my lap. “But I just don’t have the guts to do it. I’m weak.”
“You are the shining example of what an angel should be, Kieran,” he argued, heat entering his voice, but his words made me chuckle. I was so far from the set standards. “You are kind, smart, and want to do the right thing. Not to mention you have the most stubborn mind when it comes to never relenting in your goals. You are a force to be reckoned with in your own right.” My heart squeezed as my lips parted. “You have a lot to offer, and I know the Rebellion would welcome you with open arms. Especially with that dagger being tied to you now.”
I’d be…welcomed somewhere? The thought was preposterous.
“All you have to do is have the courage to believe in a life outside of Alfemir,” he gently encouraged.
I’d already begun to think of a life with the humans, but joining the Rebellion hadn’t crossed my mind.
My heart and mind warred with itself, and I let the full force of my indecision lay clear in my gaze as I looked at him. “I can’t make the decision to leave with you right now. I need to think about it. Please understand.”
“I knew that would likely be the case.” His lips thinned as he pushed to his feet and walked toward my French doors with the book in hand.
Why did it feel like my heart was walking away with him?
He looked over his shoulder, empathy shining in those green depths. “I’m not trying to pressure you, Little Star, but the facts of our situation can’t be ignored because of your fear. If you don’t fall and bring the dagger to the Rebellion, there won’t be an Alfemir or human world to reside in.”
“No pressure,” I couldn’t help but mutter beneath my breath.
His gaze was haunted as he whispered, “It’s not fair that this choice has landed on your shoulders, and I’ll never forgive myself for bringing you into this mission with me and trapping you in it. I won’t force you to choose me and the Rebellion, but just know if you do fall, I’ll spend every day protecting you in an attempt to make up for what I’ve done. If you do go through the portal, just think of me while stepping through, and it’ll bring you directly to me.”
I didn’t have words for him. Instead, I was utterly shocked, lost in my thoughts of how I’d ended up here.
He opened my balcony doors, and as he looked up at the clouded sky, he admitted, “Just know, I’ll do more than just protect your body if you fall. I’ll protect your heart and worship those scars if you’ll let me.”
His wings unfurled and with one beat, he was off into the night, leaving me with a tear rolling down my cheek and wondering what the hell I was supposed to do now.
KIERAN
