“I mean, I guess I get it,” she breathed out.
She did?
This was the last reaction I expected from her, and a part of me was struggling in disbelief. There was no way our girl would be okay with being left behind.
She began to pace back and forth as she gestured around with her hands. My eyebrow arched as she said, “I wouldn’t want someone from the Thaician Empire to be privy to important information that could be leaked to their rulers. Trust no one. She owes it to her people to take every precautionary measure. I have no issue sitting out of future meetings and talks of plans for the war.”
While I appreciated her level of rationale and calmness, she didn’t seem to fully understand the implications of what I’d shared.
Moving forward until I captured her arms in my hands, I halted her pacing and made her look up at me. “She doesn’t want you to be there physically, either, Kyella. She wants you to stay behind when we set sail for the attack.”
This time, there was no calmness or understanding, only hurt and rage that catapulted out of her as she narrowed her eyes and shook my hands off of her.. “What! Why? She can’t make me stay here. I want to be there fighting by your sides!” she yelled, huffs of indignation coming from her. I could see her anger boiling higher with each passing second.
“Love,” Elijah called out, stepping forward to my side.
Oh man. His soft tone was going to make her explode, and I felt myself cringing seconds before it happened.
Her head whipped toward him, strands of hair flying at the speed in which she did. “No! Do not“love”me right now. You’re going to defend her, aren’t you? I thought you chose me over her!”
Daggers swam in her eyes, ready to pierce Elijah if he answered wrong. Not a single part of me envied him right now. I knew what he was going to say, though, and I couldn’t say I entirely disagreed, even if it upset Ky. At the end of the day, all three of us wanted to protect her in every way we could. She was everything to us. Was it a selfish desire to have her stay behind? Absolutely. But, at the end of the day, we weren’t the ones who asked this of her.
“I’m not taking anyone’s side!” Elijah roared back, his chest heaving with anger. “But she isn’t wrong in saying you haven’t had enough time to train or hone your skills enough to go to war, Kyella. This isn’t a game. People will die around you on that battlefield. Are you prepared to watch that happen and continue to fight?”
She didn’t answer, standing as still as a statue as her eyes moved over each of us, disgust apparent in her gaze. My chest ached with the knowledge that she felt ill will toward us. While we were just the messengers, I could see how she might think we were complicit in this.
Had we done the wrong thing in telling her? No. Telling the truth was never wrong.
Elijah took advantage of her silence as he spoke, standing in front of her and staring down at her as she gazed back defiantly. Her chest heaved as she seemed to internalize all of her anger and resentment.
My body practically vibrated with the need to go to her and comfort her. I hated this.
“Are you prepared to possibly watch one of us fall and not put yourself in harm's way to try to help us?” Elijah questioned, his tone softening slightly.
Her simmering anger didn’t fizzle out completely, but her shoulders did slump forward slightly as she looked down and whispered, “I would do anything to save you three.”
Reaching forward, he gripped her chin lightly and tipped her head up to meet his gaze. “And all three of us would do the same to save you.”
Without hesitation, we would lay down our lives for her.
With his words, she seemed to deflate completely.
Elijah continued, “That is Myrin’s fear—that her fiercest soldiers will be distracted in battle. That the woman she has come to care for greatly, and views as one of her few friends, will risk herself for others. We all know how big of a heart you have, Ky. You wouldn’t put yourself at risk for just us…You would do it for a complete stranger as well. There is so much at stake here, and she is merely trying to think of every variable that could go wrong so she can try to prevent it from happening.”
I watched as tears began to fall from her eyes, causing Kolvar and I to instantly take a step forward. The urge to comfort her was nearly overwhelming.
But her voice was the iciest I’d ever heard it as she choked out, “Well, did anyone stop to think about the fact that I am my own person and therefore can’t be controlled? That I’m no longer locked up in a tower in Malakai’s castle and won’t be told what to do anymore?”
Fuck. Her words made me flinch, and I hated that she was drawing a comparison between the two situations. However, I could see where she was coming from as soon as the words left her lips. If she was kept from doing what she wanted, we hadn’t freed her from her prison…We’d simply transferred her to a new one.
This time, it was Elijah’s head that fell down in defeat. Kyella continued, her voice rising in volume and in confidence. “Did anyone ever think that after everything I’ve been through because of him, maybe this is something I need to do for myself?”
As she asked that, she looked at each of us. It was clear she had more to say, so I held off on answering.
Pain twined through every word she uttered. “My family was killed by him. He tried to brainwash me and manipulate me. He held me prisoner. He paraded me around like some sick prize and let vampyre’s feed from me. He sent his people to torture me and bring me back to him. I deserve to get vengeance for everything he’s done to me, and I will do that by fighting in this war that will strip him of everything!”
Her breathing was ragged as she wiped at her eyes, angrily flicking the tears away.
There was no doubt in my mind that I couldn’t stand here and accept Myrin’s wishes in this situation. While I’d already felt uncomfortable with them prior, hearing Kyella’s side cemented just how wrong it was. If I accepted Myrin’s word as law, my silence made me complicit.
