“And I told you that I don’t want to hear anymore.” I gripped the arms of my chair. “Look, Juliet. I was honest with you because I thought we were both on the same page about starting over, trying to make this thing between us—whatever it is—work. But aside from you being aware of what’s going on and understanding that you damn well better never try to get between Alison and me again, it’s frankly not your concern. Leave it alone.”
Juliet pushed off from the porch railing. “Fine. You’ve made yourself perfectly clear.” She stomped past me, flung open the door to the house, and walked inside. A few moments later, she reappeared, her handbag on her arm.
“Where are you going?” I demanded, ignoring the sense of relief that was washing over me at the thought of being alone.
“I’m leaving. You’ve made it abundantly clear that you don’t need or want my input on your little life crisis, Noah. You can be an idiot and let all of this go down without so much as checking to see if it’s even really your responsibility, but I’m not going to stand alongside you and watch it happen. I’m going home.”
She headed down the porch steps toward her car, but I noticed with a little bit of cynicism that she didn’t move very fast. And once she was in the driver’s seat, she took her sweet time starting up the engine and easing away from my house. She probably expected—or was hoping—that I’d rush after her and beg her to stay.
That wasn’t going to happen. I had too much to consider, to digest, without having her sniping at me, too.
With a sigh, I stood up and went back inside, not waiting to watch her car vanish.
* * *
For the better part ofan hour, I sat in my living room as the sun set and darkness stole quietly over me. My phone was in my lap; I wanted to call Alison, but I also wasn’t certain what to say to her. Where did we go from here? Should I offer to marry her? To give her money? Both of those options felt wrong to me, and even though I’d proved time and again that I was clueless when it came to women, I had a hunch that neither offer would be well-received.
When my phone finally rang, my heart leaped, and I snatched it up, staring at the screen, willing it to show Alison’s name. But I was destined for disappointment because it was Emma calling instead.
“Hey.” My voice cracked a little. “What’s up?”
“What’sup?’ She sounded incredulous. “For the love of God, Noah. What the actual fuck? I just talked to Alison. She shows up at your house to tell you that she’s pregnant—finally—and you have Juliet there? What was she doing with you? I thought she was out of the picture after she drove away from the party like a bat out of hell.”
Resentment made me snap back. “She came back so we could work things out between us. I was trying to do the right thing, believe it or not. I’ve been an asshole to her—among other people, as you’d probably like to remind me. So I was doing my best to make things better. And I had no idea that Alison was planning to stop by. How could I have known?” Slowly, and with increasing clarity, several things fell into place for me. “You called to see if I was going to be home so that Alison could come over, didn’t you? Which means you already knew she was pregnant.”
“Yes, I called to make sure you knew that someone was planning to visit so that Juliet couldn’t get away with lying like she did before.” Emma sniffed. “And I’d do it again. You’ve had your head up your ass for long enough, Noah. It’s time to shake off all this self-pity shit and pull yourself together. Man up.”
“Wait a minute.” I switched the phone to my other ear, ire threatening to make me blow my top. “You knew. All this time, you knew Alison was carrying my baby and you never told me?”
I could practically hear Emma’s eyes roll. “Well, let’s discuss this, Noah. First of all, there’s the little matter of you not talking to me for weeks on end. It would have been tough to tell you when you weren’t taking my calls. Second, it wasn’t my place to tell you. This is between you and Alison.”
“Then why the hell are you calling to bust my balls?”
“Because now you know, and I’m perfectly within my rights as your friend to whack you upside the head. And because Alison’s my friend, too, and I’ve been watching her suffer all this time, trying to get to you. When I saw you the other day at the party, I was tempted to say something, but . . .” She sighed. “It would have just complicated everything even more.”
I saw her point, but I didn’t have to like it. “Fine.”
“Anyway, that’s all the past.” Emma sure was in a hurry to get beyond her role in keeping this whole pregnancy deal from me. “My question for you is . . . now what?”
“Yeah, there’s a whole lot of that question going around.” I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against my hand. “Sure wish I had an answer.”
“When are you going to see Alison again and figure it out?” she asked.
I shrugged. “I have no idea. She left in a hurry when Juliet interrupted us. I tried to get her to stay so we could talk some more, but she wouldn’t hear it.”
“Well, honestly, Noah. Can you blame her?” Emma’s voice went up two decibels. “Let’s look at this entire situation. You and Alison seemed to make a connection at my wedding.” She snorted. “Must’ve been quite a connection, considering what came of it. Anyway, you saw her again after that, and according to Alison, the way you talked, you completely expected to, uh, pursue a relationship.” She paused. “Am I on the right track so far?”
“Yeah.” I wasn’t going to deny any of it.
“And then she went through hell when you never called her after your surgery—which, okay, that’s not your fault, since you were unconscious. But the point is, she was so upset. She didn’t know what was going on, and she had no way of finding out. She visited you in the hospital. And right before you woke up, she found out she was pregnant. By the time she told me, she’d already stood at your front door, ringing the bell, trying to see you. She’d texted and called. Finally, she went to your house again, and this time, another woman answers the door half-naked, and lies about you being home. It’s apparent to Alison that you’ve moved on from her, and she can’t even talk to you face to face to clue you in that you’re about to be a father!”
“Thanks so much for that list of my sins, Em. I might have left a few of them out if you weren’t so goddamn helpful,” I ground out.
“I’m just saying you can’t be mad at Alison for not wanting to hang around while you hashed things out with your new girlfriend. She’s been through enough.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not happy with what Juliet did, either.” I rubbed my forehead. “I let her know that. She was the second female to storm away from my house in less than an hour. It’s been a real banner day here at chez Spencer.”
Emma exhaled. “I’m sorry, bud. Really, I’m sorry that all of this is happening to you, even the stuff that’s one hundred percent your own fault. I know you’re suffering right now. I know it’s killing you that your football career is over. But—and I say this with all of the love in the world, Noah—you’re not the first player who’s had a bad break and had to retire early.” She was quiet for a beat. “You’re not even the first man to lose his wife tragically, well before her time. I hate that this has happened to you, but I have to tell you one thing: you’re better than the way you’ve responded to all of these hits. You’re a better man than the guy who goes out and gets wasted every day to forget the pain. You’re better than the guy who takes up with a woman he has absolutely no chance of loving.”
