I nodded and allowed her to hold me, but I couldn’t do any more than that. After a few minutes, she gently let me go, and along with her daughters, she helped me get ready to fly back to Florida to bury my grandfather.
Nicky had arranged for the two of us to fly first class and had requested seats that would give us as much privacy as possible. He told me later that the Queen had offered us the use of the airplane on which she made overseas flights, but he’d felt it wasn’t a good idea to accept her kind offer. He hated anything that made the Royal Family appear to be over-privileged freeloaders.
It didn’t matter to me, because I didn’t really remember the flight afterward. Nicky told me that I slept during most of it. He’d tried to get me to eat something, but I’d refused. That didn’t surprise me; the thought of putting anything into my mouth made me want to gag.
I didn’t speak at all until about fifteen minutes before we landed, and then I turned to face Nicky.
“I thought it would be Honey.”
He took my hand in both of his and rubbed it lightly. “What’s that, darling?”
“Honey. I thought ... after she’d been so sick last year, I thought I had to be prepared to lose Honey. I was—I don’t know, maybe somehow more ready for it to be her. If my mother had called and told me that she had died, I would have been devastated, too, but not so surprised. But Handsome ...” My throat constricted. “He wasn’t sick. Not at all. He’s never been sick as long as I can remember. But he died anyway. Hedied, Nicky.”
“I know, sweetheart.” Nicky’s eyes were tormented with sorrow for me. “Your mother said it was sudden and peaceful. He passed away in his sleep after having enjoyed a wonderful evening with your grandmother and your parents. And I believe Lisel was there, too. Your mother said they’d had dinner together and then they all played dominoes—and your grandfather won. Apparently, the last thing he said to them before he went to bed was,I’ll bet none of you will play against me again after I whooped you so badly!”
Despite myself, I smiled. “That sounds just like him. For such a peace-loving man, he sure did love winning when it came to games.” Thinking of him, remembering his irresistible smile and contagious laugh, a new wave of pain swept over me. “I’m going to miss him so much, Nicky. How are we going to run Honey Bee without him? And he’d promised he’d be there for our wedding. I was going to take him all around London to see the sights after we got back from our honeymoon. He wanted to see the ravens at the Tower.”
“I know, Ky. I know it hurts, and I know you’re in pain. But for right now at least, try to only remember the good things. You had him for many years, and he lived each one to the fullest. He was an incredible man—an example that I will never forget. If we try to focus on that, it will help us get through.”
I nodded and stared out the window. I couldn’t see the azure blue ocean as it was pitch black out, but lights dotted the coastline of Florida. “When we land, Nicky, what’s going to happen? Can we duck the reporters?” In London, we’d been allowed to go into the airport through a special entrance and given a small private room in which to wait. I hadn’t encountered even one member of the press. But in the US, I suspected it would be more difficult to keep the media away.
“It’s already set up for us,” Nicky assured me. “We’ll stay here on the plane until everyone else has exited, and then we’ll go right down to the tarmac, where there will be a car waiting for us. It will take us—you, me and Harold—directly to your family’s home.”
I glanced at him, startled. “Harold’s here? On the plane?”
“Oh, yes. We need security when we travel. He’s sitting a few rows away to give us privacy, but he’ll be in the car with us and staying at the house, too.”
“Oh.” I let that sink in. “And our luggage will be loaded?” I suddenly realized how much I didn’t know about how we’d made this trip. I couldn’t remember what suitcase I’d brought or where it was.
“Yes, they’ll have it in the car before we disembark. Try not to worry, Ky. Between Sophie and the rest of the Palace staff, they managed everything for us. Just relax, and I’ll get you home.”
The odd thing was that I hadn’t cried. Not from the moment I’d heard my mother tell me the news to when I mutely held out the phone for Nicky to take it from me, throughout the hazy afternoon as everyone had taken care of the arrangements ... not one tear. I was too frozen, too much of a statue. I felt as though my emotions had all evaporated and left me dry and brittle.
But then we stepped through the front door of the home that Honey and Handsome had built so many years ago, the beach house where we’d spent countless happy hours, where I’d met Nicky for the first time as a child. I hesitated on the threshold, catching my breath in dread of the moment it finally sank in that Handsome wasn’t going to come around the corner, his voice booming as he said, “There’s my Kyra! Look at you, so smart and strong and beautiful.”
“Kyra.” Standing in the doorway to the expansive family room, Honey held out her arms to me, and with a cry, I launched myself toward my grandmother. As she held me, stroking my hair, the tears came at long last.
“Oh, my dear.” She eased away and held my face, smiling sadly into my eyes. “I’m so glad you’re here. I need us to all be together.” She glanced over my shoulder. “Nicky. Come here, darling boy. Let me hug you. Thank you for bringing my girl home.”
“Of course, Auntie.” Nicky, whose grandmother had been Honey’s best friend from childhood, had grown up calling Honey and Handsome Auntie and Uncle, a habit he had mostly dropped as an adult. But now, hearing the endearment fall from his lips so naturally made me thankful all over again that this man was mine—that we’d found each other again.
“Come in here, now—we’re all sitting around and trying to make each other feel better.” Honey led us further into the house, and within seconds, I was surrounded by my mother and my sisters, each of them vying to hug me. And then my father was there, his eyes red and bleak. His relationship with his father had been close and loving, and I knew my poor daddy had to be suffering even more than the rest of us were.
Finally, we all sat down. Nicky kept his arms around me, and I was grateful for his steadying presence. Bria passed around a bottle of wine and goblets.
“Isn’t it a little early for wine?” I lifted my own full glass. “Or is it late? I mean, I guess I don’t even know what time it is.”
“It’s just past eleven,” my mother informed me. “You poor things, you must be horribly jet-lagged.”
“For us, it’s just past four in the morning.” Nicky smiled. “So Kyra’s right—for us, it’s a bit early for wine.” He took a healthy sip of his glass. “But all the same, this is much-needed just now, no matter when now is.”
Lisel sighed. “I know it sounds really trite, but I feel better that you’re here, Kyra. It’s good that we’re all together. And Nicky, thank you for getting her to us so quickly.”
“I had a lot of help.” He twisted a strand of my hair around his finger. “I’m glad we’re here, too. You must tell me what I can do to help out. Anything at all.”
“Tomorrow we’ll be making arrangements.” My dad spoke up. “We wanted to wait for Kyra to be here for that. If there’s anything we need to do to keep the reporters away or to ensure your safety, we’ll set it up.”
“We can talk about it tomorrow.” Nicky nodded. “But there shouldn’t be any problem. The press office has been handling everything, and so far, people seem to be respecting your family’s need to grieve in private.”
