It was Jake’s turn to look confused, and then he slumped a little, shaking his head. “You saw me just now? In the doorway?”
When I nodded, unable to form coherent words, he sighed and shook his head. “Harper, that was Caren. She texted me this morning out of the blue. She and her husband and kids were passing through on vacation, and she asked if she could stop and see me. I made arrangements for her to be able to get onto post, and she was only here for a little while.”
“Caren?” I frowned. “Caren, as in your ex-wife Caren? The one you haven’t seen since she left you back in college?”
“That’s the one.” Jake perched on the corner of his desk. “I think she felt bad after all these years, and she said she couldn’t drive through without at least stopping to say hello and tell me in person how sorry she was about how everything happened between us. It was actually ...” He paused. “Healing, in a way, I guess.”
“Oh.” I felt a little deflated, most of my mad used up now. “You said she has kids?”
“Yeah, four of them. They’re on their way to Virginia Beach for spring break.” He cocked his head. “So that’smystory. You want to explain why you’re here and why you were coming at me, loaded for bear because you saw me kiss another woman?”
I shrugged, my eyes rooted to the floor. “I just ... I wanted to talk with you.”
“Yeah?” With one finger, he tipped my chin up until I had to look at him. “About ...?”
I sighed. “About us. About me, and how I feel about you, and about you and how you feel about me.” I was babbling, and I hated when that happened.
“Oh?” There was a hint of a smile on his face. “Want to fill me in?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “I’m scared.”
“Bullshit.” His response was swift and sure. “Harper Drummond doesn’t get scared.”
“But I do.” I swallowed over the huge lump in my throat.
“Okay, then. Let’s start here: did you come here to tell me something good, that I’ll like and be happy about, or something bad?” With the same finger that had nudged up my chin, he traced the line of my jaw, and I shivered.
“I think it’s something good. It’s good for me. Or at least I hope it will be. And I hope you think it’s good, too.” For the first time, I let myself sink into the depths of his dark eyes, and what I saw there gave me a spark of hope.
“Hmmm. Sounds promising. But first, before you tell me anything, come here.” He drew me close to him, so that I stood between his legs, our eyes and lips at the same level. “You’ve been here in my office for a whole five minutes, and I haven’t done this yet.”
His lips sought mine, tentative at first and then with sudden and intense fire, his arms wrapping me tight as his tongue traced the interior of my mouth. I made a small noise at the back of my throat and let my hands clasp behind his neck.
“There,” Jake whispered. “Now I can talk to you.” He nuzzled my neck, breathing deep, and then brushed one more light kiss over my lips. “I don’t want to tell you I love you with another woman’s lipstick on me.”
It took a minute for the meaning of his words to seep into my brain. “You ... you what?”
“I know.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “I promised I wouldn’t do it. I promised no strings, no commitment, no romance ... and yet, I did it anyway. I went and fell in love with you, Harper Drummond. Damn it all to hell if I have any regrets about it, either.”
My heart fluttered, and in place of the heaviness I’d been dragging with me all day, an incredible lightness filled me. The bats had turned into butterflies, and they were all taking wing at once.
“Are you sure?” To my embarrassment, I felt tears filling my eyes. “I’m not a very good bet, you know. I’m moody and temperamental and I yell ...” I trailed off. I wasn’t doing a very good job of selling myself or the perks of being in love with me. “But I’m a hell of a cook, and you’ll never starve with me. Also, I give the most fucking incredible blow jobs you’ll ever have, and I’m very adventurous in bed.”
Jake was laughing before I even finished. “Sugar, I know all of that about you. If you want to know the truth, I think I fell in love with you the minute you stepped into my arms to dance that night at the bar. It just took me a while to accept it.” He framed my face with his hands. “But you know, I’m kind of hanging over here. Dying by degrees, you might say. I told you how I feel, but I got the sense that you’d come to tellmesomething.”
I lifted one shoulder and tilted my head, feeling suddenly and uncharacteristically coquettish. “Ah, but you beat me to the punch. Does it really matter what I was going to say?”
He nodded, and his eyes were serious. “It really does. I need to know that I’m not alone. I love you, Harper. How do you feel about me?”
I took a deep, cleansing inhale and spoke on a whoosh of breath. “I love you, Jake. I didn’t want to, and I didn’t plan on it, and maybe it’s fucking inconvenient, but I can’t help it. I fell in love with you when I wasn’t looking for it, but I wouldn’t change it now for anything in the world.” I let my hands trail down his shoulders, over the rough fabric of his uniform. “I want us to be together as more than friends with benefits and more than just fuck buddies. I want to wake up with you and go to sleep with you, and in between that, I want to laugh with you and fuck you senseless and tell you everything about my day. I want to get mad at you and then have fabulous make-up sex. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I want you. I love you.”
Jake lifted me so that I sat on the desk with him, straddling his hips. “Thank God,” he breathed against my hair. “Now, can I take you home so we can consummate this love in your bed three or four times before you have to go to work tonight?”
I kissed his neck, sniffing his unique Jake aroma. “Only three or four times?” I wrinkled my nose. “You’re demonstrating a deplorable lack of ambition, Captain Robinson.”
He stood, picking me up and shifting so that he cradled me against his chest. “I was being conservative in my estimates, because I didn’t want to scare you off. I don’t plan to let you out of bed until neither of us can walk.”
Heat and gladness filled me in equal parts. “Bring it on, buddy. Did I mention I made some chocolate syrup yesterday, and I think it would be the perfect addition to Fuck the Chef, home edition?”
Jake’s brown eyes went nearly black, and he kissed me, open-mouthed and possessive. “I fucking love you, Harper Drummond.”
The End
