I grinned, remembering the initial shock I’d felt at seeing him in my kitchen and then the fast-building pleasure as he’d played with me, pretending to be just another customer, albeit one who made wildly inappropriate comments when no one else was listening. And the fast sex in his car after that had been intense—not to mention the role-playing that night in my home kitchen. I couldn’t look at spatulas the same way again.
I knew I could just wait until he came over tonight. That was what made the most sense. But I was full of nerves and jitters, and now that I’d made the decision, I didn’t want to wait. I wanted to talk to him now, this afternoon. At the same time, I didn’t want to text him and ask him to come to my house. If we were alone together, I had a feeling that I’d chicken out and end up sleeping with him instead of having a talk. And as much as I loved sex with this man, I knew it couldn’t continue to be the only thing that defined our relationship.
Luckily, I had Samantha in my corner. She not only knew that the battalion was back on post after their morning march, she could also get me onto Fort Lee, since she had a military ID.
“Here’s the plan.” She shot me a sideways glance as we drove toward the post. I was fidgeting in the front seat of her car, wiping my sweaty palms on my jean-covered thighs. “I’ll drive you to the battalion headquarters and drop you off there. I texted Max, and he said that Jake was finishing up some work there in his office. No one else should be around, really, since it’s the weekend. You can talk to him, and if everything goes well, just text me that you’re okay.” She gnawed the corner of her lip. “If for some reason it doesn’t, text me and I’ll come back and get you.”
“Oh, shit. I’m nervous.” I swallowed. “I don’t ever remember being this nervous before in my life. I’m a fucking chef. I thrive on stress. I eat it up. And right now, I feel like I might vomit.”
Sam laughed. “Welcome to love and adult relationships, sweetie. But don’t hurl in my car, okay? That’s rule number one.”
Love.Was this what I felt for Jake? Was I in love with this man? I thought about it, about us, trying to separate the man from the way he made me feel when we were in bed together, or when his mouth was between my legs, or when we were in the shower together, or when his cock was thrusting into my throat ... sighing, I wriggled a little bit. Now I was wet and turned on.
“How do you know you’re in love with someone?” I mused, not realizing I’d spoken out loud until Samantha answered me.
“When I was first with Max ... remember?” She flashed me a smile. “You were there. I got excited when I knew I was going to see him again. I wanted to look my best,bemy best. I wanted him to think I was the most wonderful woman in the world, because I knew he was the most amazing man ever. I wanted to see him all the time—when we weren’t together, I couldn’t wait until we would be. I wanted to wake up next to him and go to sleep in his arms every night.” She paused. “I knew he accepted me for who and what I was, but at the same time, he made me a better person.”
“I love being with Jake,” I said slowly. “I look forward to seeing him, even when I tell myself I shouldn’t. When something wonderful happens, he’s the first person I want to tell. I love when his eyes light up when he looks at me, and I love that when he touches me, his breath kind of stutters.”
Samantha sighed. “Yeah. That’s the stuff.”
We pulled onto Fort Lee, Sam flashing her ID and a smile at the guard who waved her along. The butterflies in my stomach morphed into huge bats when she stopped the car in front of a large beige building.
“This is HQ. Max said Jake’s office is on the third floor. There will be some guys on guard duty hanging around, but if anyone stops you, just tell them that you’re there to see Captain Robinson, and they won’t bother you.”
“Okay.” I opened the car door and swung out my legs, hesitating. “I can do this, right? It’s the thing I should do?”
“Absolutely youcando it, and yes, you should. Don’t let the nerves get you. You’re Harper Fucking Drummond. Go up there and own that man, babe. He’s yours.”
“Mine.” I inhaled and stood up. “Thanks, Sam.”
“Any time, sweetie. Text me later. Love you!”
I waved, slammed the car door and made my way inside the building. I passed a couple of men and women in BDUs, but no one spared me even a glance. With legs that were shaking, I climbed up two flights of steps and headed down the hallway. Max had said that Jake’s office was third from the left. I was still a few feet away when I heard his voice.
I smiled involuntarily. Yeah, I had it bad; even hearing him talk to someone else turned me on. And then I heard the answering voice, which was higher and feminine, with a deep Southern accent.
The battalion commander was a woman, I knew from both Jake and Max. It might be her voice I heard. I didn’t want to interrupt any meeting he might be having—either with her or with any of his soldiers—so I paused, lingering in a nearby doorway, biding my time, fighting my ever-increasing nerves.
A few minutes later, I heard the scrape of a chair, and two figures appeared at the entrance of Jake’s office. One was Jake himself, dressed in his fatigues. The other was a diminutive brunette, who didn’t look like any soldier I’d ever seen. She was in civilian clothes, and as I watched, she laid a hand on Jake’s arm, squeezing. He patted her back, rubbing it a little, as he often did with me. And then she stood on tiptoe, and he bent his neck to kiss her lips.
My heart stopped beating and then began to pound. My throat was dry, and I was paralyzed. The woman turned and began walking my way, but Jake had disappeared back into his office. I coughed a little as the woman passed by, but she was fumbling for something in her handbag and didn’t pay any attention to me at all.
I was frozen.What the hell? What the actual fucking hell?Jake had promised me that we would be exclusive until the time that one of us no longer wanted to continue ... whatever this was between us. Yes, I knew that I hadn’t been open about my changing feelings, but still—didn’t he owe me the courtesy of an explanation before he began fucking some other woman?
The small part of my brain that was still sensible pointed out that he’d kissed the woman. I didn’t know who she was. Could it be one of his sisters who’d surprised him with a visit? It seemed doubtful, but it was possible, certainly. Jumping to conclusions was rarely helpful. I had to go confront him. I had to know the truth.
After all, as Sam had reminded me, I was Harper Fucking Drummond. I could do this.
Filled with self-righteous anger, I stomped down the hallway and into Jake’s office, pausing just long enough to slam the door so hard the glass rattled.
He looked up at me, shock on his face melting into pleasure. “Harper? What’re you doing here? Is everything okay?” He stood up, coming out from behind his desk.
“That’s what I’d like to know.” I moved until I was close to him and poked him in the chest with one stabbing finger. “I thought we had a deal. An arrangement. But maybe I was the only one who honored that.”
Jake winced. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry, Harper. I hoped that it wouldn’t—I asked Max not to say anything. I didn’t want to tell him, but between him and Owen, they figured it out.” He laid his hand on my shoulder. “Your driver’s license is still on Owen’s phone, and he recognized your name.”
“What?” I was momentarily confused. “Oh—you mean about Max knowing. No, that’s not what I’m talking about. It’s not what I’m mad about. I mean, yeah, Sam explained all that. I know you couldn’t do anything else.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m talking about the woman who was in here with you. The one you touched. The one youkissed.”
