Her eyes were on the screen, but not really. Her lashesfluttered. Her lips parted just slightly, like she was holding something back. I watched her throat work as she swallowed.
God, I wanted to taste that hesitation.
My heart slammed once, then again, and I knew —I knew— that if I leaned in right now, she’d let me. Just enough.
Not all the way.
But enough to destroy me.
I leaned in.
Slowly. Carefully. Like I was afraid she might disappear beneath me if I startled her.
My nose brushed her cheek. She didn’t move. Her breath caught — just a hitch — and I swore I felt it in every bone I had.
I wasso close. My lips hovered at the corner of her mouth.
Almost.
And then — she tensed.
Tiny. Barely there. But enough.
I froze.
Pulled back just a little, but not all the way. I didn’t want to scare her. Didn’t want her to think I regretted it. Because I didn’t. I’d do it again if she’d let me. But not like this. Not if she was scared.
She was staring at her hands now, twisted in the hem of my hoodie like she needed something to hold on to. Like she was unraveling.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and her voice was small. “I just — I can’t. Not if it’s not real. We made rules, Ansel.” And even as she said it… I didn’t believe her. But I would respect it.
Something cracked in my chest.
Because itwasreal. At least to me. And hearing her say that — draw that line, even gently — felt like getting kicked in the ribs by the truth. It would have been real. Realer than any kiss we had shared before.
Realer thananythingI had felt in the past.
I swallowed hard. Tried to steady my voice. “I’d never ask you to do anything that wasn’t real,” I finally said, and meant it more than I’d ever meant anything.
She didn’t look at me.
Didn’t move away either.
So I stayed.
My hand slid back to her waist — still careful, still reverent — and when she didn’t pull away, I closed my eyes and let myself feel it.
Just for a second.
Because she was right.
If I kissed her now, I’d never recover.
She didn’t pull away. That was enough for me.
She just went quiet — tucked herself a little deeper under the blanket, as if she could hide from the tension still buzzing in the air. I let my hand rest light against her hip, afraid even breathing too loud would break something delicate.
Then —
