‘Get back upstairs!’ Gregory roars, my entire body jumping back.
‘No.’ I’m resolute. This is the right thing to do. I’m sick of the lies. I listened to him before, when he convinced me this would go away. Not now. They have evidence.
‘Scarlett, get back upstairs, now!’
‘Stop speaking to me like that. It’s time, Gregory. I won’t stand by and watch you go through this. I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you.’
‘Scarlett, I won’t tell you again. Get back up those fucking stairs, now!’
‘Do you have something to tell me, Scarlett?’ DI Barnes positions himself between Gregory and me.
‘Yes. I do.’
‘No, she fucking doesn’t.’ Gregory is irate. His eyes are wild, possessed. In three strides, he reaches me. He drops hisshoulder into my waist and hoists me up, leaving me kicking and screaming against his back as he drags me upstairs.
‘Well, at least I know what I’m really dealing with now.’ DI Barnes stands then and moves close to Jackson, his mumbles almost inaudible above my screeching.
‘Put me down!’ I’m screaming at him, punching at his lower back. Then I’m thrown on the bed in the first bedroom we come to. ‘Why did you do that? Why won’t you accept that I need to do this?’
‘Fuck!’ He’s pacing the floor, both hands locked in his hair. Each time he glances at me, his eyes are bulging. He’s trying to control himself but fury is driving him. My body jumps as he lets out a roar of exasperation then pounds his fist into the back of the bedroom door, puncturing the wood.
I don’t know what to do or say so I sit on the edge of the bed, motionless.
‘Why can’t you just understand that this is something I have to do?’ His tone is calmer now but he’s still fighting his anger. He shakes off his already colouring and swelling hand as if pounding the door was a tickle.
‘Because you won’t talk to me. You won’t let me understand. Take a chance on me, Gregory. Let me in.’
He drops to his knees in front of me, shuffling between my thighs, then he lifts my chin with his index finger until I’m looking into desolate eyes. ‘Everything in my life before you was screwed up. I’ve spent my life trying to make up for everything I’ve done wrong and trying to move on from my past. But it haunts me. It’s haunting me now. Can’t you see that I expect us to go wrong? I know we will because that’s what I do. I damage things and people.’
I open my mouth to speak but no words form. He expects usto fail. It’s like he won’t even try to defy the odds. My eyes fall to my fingers in my lap as they turn around each other.
Gregory lifts my chin again. ‘Look at me. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to kill him. You pulled that trigger but I’m the one who loaded the gun and forced you to fire. I screwed up and I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life hating myself for dragging you into this. I didn’t protect you. I let who I am hurt you.’
‘Please don’t say that. I picked up that gun to save you. I wanted you to be free of your past and I wanted revenge. You didn’t drag me into this, Gregory. I had my own motives.’
‘Motives that I inflicted on you. My past, my demons. I live with them every day and I won’t… I couldn’t live with myself if I did that to you. I’m dark, Scarlett. I’m fucked up. And I keep telling you that you deserve so much more thanme.’
I swallow the lump that forms in my throat. ‘And I keep telling you to stop saying that. You aren’t like him; you aren’t like your father. You deserved better thanhim.’
He shakes his head. ‘You. Are. Incredible. You’re strong, beautiful and smart. And I’m too damn selfish to let you go. I’m too selfish to let you have a happy life without me. But you should walk away and at some point, you’ll see that. That’s why we have to do this my way. Please.’
So she can move on.Anxiety strikes my chest and pressure builds behind my eyes.
‘Gregory, Iamhappy with you. You’re the only thing that makes me happy any more.’
He shakes his head again with a slow blink. ‘Please don’t ever say that. It breaks my heart to hear you say that. I’ve brought you so much upset.’
I take his divine, messed-up face in my palms and look him directly in the eyes. ‘And you’ve shown me a new world, an unbelievable world where I’m alive. Truly alive. You do makeme happy. Happier than I could’ve ever imagined before I met you.’
He shakes his head again. ‘If anything ever happened to you, I’d kill myself, Scarlett.’
‘Hey! Don’t you ever say things like that! Do you hear me?’
‘Please, Scarlett, you have to let me clean up this mess. The mess that I’ve caused.’ My heart is breaking as he gives me what I suspect is just a taste of the depths of his pain.
I can’t promise to see this through. But for now, I’ll give him what he wants.
‘You do deserve me,’ I whisper, dropping my lips to his. I feel his head shake but I hold his face to mine, pouring every ounce of love I feel into him, until he relaxes into my kiss.
