“You don’t know that. You know how you’re feeling right now? Scared and overwhelmed and all these crazy feelings? He’s feeling them too. Not in the same way—guys are built different—but he’s just as freaked out as you are. I promise you that.”
It’s a little hard to believe but she’s probably right.
I can’t count on him, though.
I couldn’t count on my dad and now it doesn’t appear I’ll be able to count on my child’s father either. The women in my family must be cursed. My mother’s mother was a single mom too. I’ve always been careful because I didn’t want to be one, and I’m frustrated that this happened when I know we used condoms.
“We were always careful,” I say after a moment. “That’s the part that pisses me off. There was no moment of stupidity where he slipped it in without a condom. No quickie in the shower or whatever. I don’t get it.”
“Maybe the condoms were expired!” she quips. “And if he’s well-hung, it’s always possible one broke.”
I stare at her.
Condoms expire?
“What?” she asks when I continue to stare at her in confusion. “Why do you look so weird?”
“Condoms…expire?”
She frowns. “Well, yeah. I don’t know how long, exactly, but they do. I think the ones with spermicide faster than the ones without.”
Spermicide?
Check.
The box in my bathroom cabinet is at least three years old.
Oh. My. God.
“This is my fault,” I whisper. “Because they got caught in the storm, he didn’t have any with him and I had that whole box in the bathroom…it seemed silly for him to go out and buy more. Fuck!”
Dolly looks startled. “All right, well, there’s nothing you can do about that now. What’s done is done. Let’s just focus on looking forward. How are you feeling?”
“Okay. Mornings have been rough but by eleven or twelve, I’m pretty much back to normal. I’m not sleeping well but that’s more mental than physical.”
“What did the doctor say?”
“Not much. There’s nothing to do this early on, I’m only six weeks. She prescribed some prenatal vitamins and other than that I’ll see her in a month or so.”
“Let’s sit down and do some number crunching,” she says, going back to her chair and pulling out a pad. “Exactly how much your expenses are, how much you need to work right now while you’re feeling good so you can save money for later, and how much Tate needs to contribute for you to be able to breathe once your body forces you to slow down.”
I nod, because there’s nothing for me to do but put one foot in front of the other.
With or without Tate, I’ve already pretty much made up my mind about what I’m going to do so I have to have a plan.
As far as how much he’s going to be involved—or not involved—well, the ball’s in his court.
Chapter 17
Tate
The blood test confirming paternity hits my inbox a few days after Summer took it. And I just stared at it for an hour or so.
I’m going to be a dad.
I got my one-night stand pregnant and now…she’s having a baby.
My baby.
