Sasha was on a vacation, visiting her family in Virginia for her birthday, so it was just Evie and me at home tonight.
Once home, I ran a bath for Evie while we waited for our dinner to arrive.
I was starting to feel worse and got irritable with Evie quickly, which was when it occurred to me to check my temperature.
I felt weak in a way I hadn’t in ages as I rummaged through the cabinets for my thermometer.
My forehead felt warm, and I was at 100.4, which was mildly worrying. What a time to come down with a fever.
It was at times like this that I really missed Gramps. He would’ve been the first person I called, if he was alive, and even if he couldn’t come over, he’d tell me very clearly and calmly what I had to do. Right now, my brain felt woozy, and I didn’t trust myself to think straight.
Evie played in the bathtub, and I got her out in some time, wiping her dry and giving her clothes to put on when I heard my phone ring.
It was Jonah.
“Where did you go?” he demanded as soon as I answered.
“Why do you care?” I asked, feeling angry.
He’d ignored me all week, and all of a sudden, he was calling me. What was the point?
He let out a breath. “Well, why did you leave so abruptly?”
My jaw tightened, and I looked away, wishing I could swat away my mixed-up emotions. “Why do you care?” I asked.
He waited for a beat before he finally spoke. “I don’t,” he said, grinding his teeth together. “I don’t care one bit, Lexi.”
I swallowed, and the two of us remained silent.
“I didn’t care whether you stayed or left. I didn’t care if you left your pizzas untouched in the front row or not. I didn’t care that you hugged Brian goodbye, but didn’t even look in my direction before you left.”
Ah, I understood now. He was doing just fine when it had been him dishing out the cold behavior.
When I started to ignore him, he couldn’t take it so well after all.
“Go to hell, Jonah,” I said, hanging up on him. I was so done with him.
Then I walked back up the stairs to find Evie wearing her pants inside out. At least she got the shirt on right.
“Come on, Evie,” I said, fixing her pants just as I got the notification on my phone that our dinner had been delivered.
She gave me a hug and nodded. “Are you okay, Mama? You don’t look good.”
“I’m not,” I admitted, wishing it was only physical. Wishing Jonah hadn’t messed me up emotionally. “Mama needs to go to bed early today, okay?”
She nodded and took care to be on her best behavior after that, helping me pick up the dinner from our doorstep and locking the door behind her.
As I set our dinner on the table, my phone rang again. I barely glanced at it, determined not to answer it if it was Jonah again.
But when I saw the name of the caller, I answered with a heavy heart. “Mom?”
Her voice came through, with an urgency I knew all too well. “Hi, sweetheart. I’m in a bit of a bind. Could you spare some cash?”
I felt the familiar surge of frustration at how her opening line was not to ask me about myself or Evie. I should’ve been used to it by now, but like her gambling addiction, it was something I could never fully accept.
“What is it this time? The Powerball tickets or an evening at the casino?”
“It’s not for gambling, I swear. I just need to get through the month,” she said, trying to sound calm, but I could read her well.
