I was proud of the way he sat. Most people who became disabled and suddenly found themselves struggling to controltheir movements flopped into chairs. I’d told Declan to always sit carefully, controlling his actions. We’d been working on the strength of his legs – the whole leg and the thigh – to ensure he could sit and stand with as much control as possible.
He always got frustrated at what he couldn’t do, but he had come so far and was doing so much. I wished he could see himself the way I did.
“Is this okay?” he asked when he was down.
“Yes, that’s perfect. We can take a side each. Hey, shall I put some Christmas music on? It’ll help us get into the festive spirit.”
“Sure.”
I turned my speaker on and pulled up a playlist on my phone, pressing play and adjusting the volume. I wanted us both to be able to hear the music but I didn’t want to disturb Sonny in the bedroom.
We pulled tinsel and baubles from the boxes and strung the lights across the branches, flinging tinsel after it and laughing together. I was too short to reach the top of the tree and had to jump to get the silvery length over the topmost branches. It wasn’t dignified but the way Declan laughed, like I had surprised it out of him, made me not care at all about how I looked. I’d make myself ridiculous any day of the week if I could get him to laugh like that.
As we started hanging baubles, Declan suddenly asked, “So are you expecting anyone over for Christmas Day?”
“No.”
“Are you going to visit anyone?”
“No.”
He stopped hanging his bauble and it swung gently back and forth from his fingers, twirling and sparkling in the light.
“You’re not going to be alone on Christmas Day, are you?”
The way he said it, as though it were the worst thing he could think of, made me want to squirm. “I don’t mind. I’m usually alone over Christmas. I don’t have any family.”
“But—”
He was lost for words. I tried to smile.
“I don’t mind. I’m used to it.”
“You can come to ours. To my parents’ house, I mean. There’s plenty of room.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to intrude.”
And, from experience, it was usually more awkward to be an extra person at someone else’s Christmas dinner than to be alone for the day, snuggling under my blanket by the fire and swimming lazily in the lake.
“You wouldn’t be!”
Declan looked around as though he’d suddenly realised how loud he’d been when he said that. I listened for any sound of Sonny but his breathing remained the same. He didn’t stir.
When he spoke again, Declan’s voice was lower.
“You’ll be more than welcome. You saved Sonny’s life.”
I’d been wavering, but that cut off the indecision. I didn’t want to be welcome in their house because I’d done them a service.
“No, thank you. It’s kind of you to offer but I’m happy on my own.”
Declan nodded and lifted his hand to slide the bauble onto the nearest branch. He fussed with it for ages, and I knew he wasn’t really paying attention to it. I suppose he was probably hurt that I would turn down his invitation, but I didn’t want a pity invite any more than he did.
The festive mood had gone flat.
“It’s getting towards lunchtime. Why don’t we make some lunch? I’ll go and check on Sonny and meet you in the kitchen.”
I took my chance to escape, and retreated into the bedroom.
