“It’s not your fault. There were a dozen people skating on that lake yesterday, and any one of them could have skated over that patch of thin ice.”
It was the wrong thing to say. Declan raised his eyes to meet mine and they were wide with panic.
“Mr Parker’s grandchildren could have fallen in!”
“Yes, or one of that couple. Or anyone else. It happened to be Sonny because it was random. Nobody could have predicted it. Nobody could have prevented it.”
Declan was breathing quickly and I gave in to my instinct, leaning up to slide my arm around his shoulder and pull him towards me. He was taller than I was, so it was an awkward angle. If he hadn’t come with me, it would have been uncomfortable for both of us but Declan slumped down towards me, turning his face into my neck and taking deep, shaky breaths.
If I could just let my tentacles out, I could wrap him up completely without him having to lean to the side like this.
After a moment, I patted his shoulder and he took the hint and pulled back, sitting upright and wiping his eyes subtly, as though I wouldn’t notice.
I hadn’t wanted to let him go but the angle had twisted his back and he couldn’t stay like that for long. I’d been working on his posture for months to ensure his back stayed strong, so I didn’t want to ruin it now with five minutes of cuddling.
I searched around for a different topic, something that would take his mind off replaying that terrible scene again and again in his mind.
“I’ve got some decorations in the loft. Do you want to help me put some up? If you and Sonny are going to be here for a couple of days, at least we can make it festive for him.”
Maybe it was underhanded of me to use Sonny as a bribe, but I knew that Declan would do anything to please Sonny and I wanted to distract him.
“Sure, why not? Why haven’t you got them up already?”
I chuckled. “I’m all on my own. I just never got round to it for only me.”
“Let’s do it.”
I stood and held out my hand to him in offering. He hesitated for just a second before taking it and I pulled him to his feet, not tugging him up so quickly that he would lose his balance. I held his hand a moment longer than was necessary, telling myself that it was because I wanted to make sure he was steady on his leg and his crutch.
I had to turn away as soon as he let go of my hand because I was grinning to myself like a fool. Declan had his jumper on and the cottage was warm anyway, but he still just had his boxers on. He hadn’t tried to put his jeans back on because he hadn’t put his prosthetic on yet.
The fact that he was letting me see him like this, just a little bit naked and vulnerable, made my heart swell inside my chest.
“I’ll get the decorations out. Will you hold the ladder for me?”
“Yes, of course.”
We got the decorations down quickly. I’d packed them up in two large boxes, and I dragged the tree down last.
“Sorry it’s not a real tree. I don’t bother with a real one just for me.”
Declan shrugged. “I’ve only ever had a real one once. Sonny and I got one the first year we moved out because we’d always wanted one. It kept stabbing us with needles and I swear it waited until we’d hoovered up the needles before dropping a shed load more on the floor. How that thing wasn’t completely bare by the end of the holidays, I don’t know.”
I laughed at his chagrin and tried not to notice the pang inside that he so casually paired him and Sonny up. I really didn’t stand a chance with him, did I?
While Declan rummaged through the boxes to see what decorations I had, I put the tree up and got it standing proud. Well, it leaned to the side ever so slightly but I twisted it until it was leaning into the room, rather than to the side. It concealed the tilt as much as possible.
So my cottage wasn’t perfect. I’d never said it was. I’d neverwantedit to be perfect until now. I didn’t know why I was so desperate to please Declan.
“Can I move this stool over there?” Declan asked.
“Sure. You want me to grab it?”
“No, I can manage.”
I deliberately didn’t turn around to watch as Declan moved the stool. It was a small, wooden thing that I’d picked up second-hand, thinking it would be useful to stand on and reach the highest shelves, since I wasn’t exactly tall. However, I’d never needed it. If I was reaching up for something I couldn’t grab with my hands, my tentacles slipped out and wound round whatever it was I needed.
Behind me, I heard the uneven step and the sound of scuffling and then Declan placed the stool beside the tree, close enough to the fireplace that he could hold onto it as he lowered himself down.
