Declan looked around the small room. “It’s nice, though. Does the fireplace work?”
“Yes.”
“Sonny will love that.”
“Yeah?”
He nodded. “Sonny loves to sit by a fireplace and watch the flames.”
“I like doing that, too. When Sonny wakes up, I’ll put the fire on and he can sit here. I might have marshmallows as well.”
“Thank you.”
“Not at all,” I said, and studied Declan’s face. His mouth was set in the same hard line I’d seen before, nothing more than a slight tensing of his jaw, but I’d come to learn what it meant. It meant he was struggling. “What’s the matter?”
He shook his head.
“What is it?” I pressed.
“He-he was gone so quickly. One second he was skating around, the next he wasn’t even there.”
“He’s okay now,” I reminded him.
Declan nodded but his eyes were down and I hated that he wasn’t looking me in the eyes.
I reached out a hand slowly, not sure if I was crossing a line. My fingers brushed against his cheek and I encouraged him to turn his head to face me fully. “Declan? Tell me.”
“I couldn’t get to him,” he said. I heard the thickness of his voice, the way he had to force it up his throat. “He could have died and it was all my fault.”
I reeled back like he’d slapped me.
“Why would it beyourfault?”
“I brought him to the lake.”
“You aren’t responsible for the ice breaking, Declan. Nobody is responsible for that, it’s just one of those things.”
“But I was the one who wanted to come to the lake and I was the one who persuaded him to go skating. If I hadn’t wanted to go on a date with him then he wouldn’t have been there. He wouldn’t have fallen. He could havedied, Erik.”
My denial froze on my tongue. I wanted to reassure Declan but it was a lie to deny it. Sonny could easily have died if I hadn’t been there. Even another human going into the water after him wouldn’t have saved him. He would have sunk and the human would have sunk right after him, struggling together below the surface and trapped by the ice.
I shivered.
“He didn’t die,” I said at last. “He’s alive. We saved him.”
“Yousaved him. I couldn’t even stand up quickly enough. It took me forever to get across the lake and you had already brought him to the surface again. If you hadn’t been there—”
“I was nearer than you, and I’m able-bodied.”
“I know.”
He wasn’t meeting my eyes again. I couldn’t resist pushing closer, making him look at me.
“Declan, nobody else could have got there quickly enough either. Only me. I’m-I’m trained to do that.”
It was a lie, but as close to the truth as I could get. I wasn’ttrainedto go in, I wasbornto go into the water.
He nodded slowly. I pressed further.
