Chapter 33
Ali Kat
At 12:28 a.m. on August 4th, 2021, Alistair Whent: The Calf was born, weighing in at 91 pounds.
Alistair Whent senior is as proud as any pa ought to be, puffing on a cigar and accepting a glass of my father’s homemade moonshine.
The look on Alistair’s face as he chokes it down is one for the books, and if the strong drink were legal, would have made a fine addition to the docuseries.
After Fifi finally gave birth, Jake had to all but pry Alistair away from the newborn calf so Fifi would attend to it. It’s obvious that Alistair is going to become one of those ‘helicopter’ parents.
“Then Fifi gave this grunt, and I knew there was trouble,” Alistair says into the webcam. “I grabbed that hoof, and I yanked, telling little Ali-Calf that everything was going to be okay.”
“And you promise we’re gonna get to see that in an upcoming web series episode, right?” Cassius Lavinius asks.
“No—don’t give that shit away for free!” Zevran exclaims. “People would pay good money to see Alistair fishing a calf out of a cow’s vagina.”
“I do think I’m something of a calf-sayer,” Alistair gloats. “What can I say, I’m a natural.”
“Put Hank back on!” someone shouts over the webcam.
Seeing my father’s excitement as he sits in front of the camera, chatting up a storm with high-profile businessmen has me grinning, and Ma is just tickled to be playing host.
In a surprising twist, Zevran starts asking questions about the farm, which Pa’s more than pleased to answer.
“We’ve been remodeling the barns on the property, and we have a good fifteen to twenty units we can make available. Ali Kat’s staying where we’re considering putting in a store.” Pa looks around the room. “Jake, get over here. Tell these gentlemen all those ideas you had.”
My jaw drops. “Wow—I have never seen my father be this business-minded.”
Ma takes a seat next to me at the table. “He had to be. Almost lost the farm some years ago.”
“Huh?”
“Remember that year we sent Prim to you?” she starts. “Well, that year we had a lot to think about. Business was slow, money was tight, and we thought it best if she went away for a couple weeks while we made some decisions. We thought we were gonna have to sell, but Jake was dead set against it, promised he’d work day and night to save the family business. Took out a loan, pushed us to grow organic. It was an investment, but in the end, it saved us.”
I blink, shocked by the revelation. “Ma, why didn’t you tell me? I would have helped out.”
“Your father would have never accepted any of that Hollywood money. Besides, it ended up being one of the best things that happened to us. Hank became more business-minded, and Jake started taking initiative. Things like that happen for a reason.”
I reach out, wrapping her in my arms.
“Ouch—watch yer grip! My ribs are still healing.”
“Sorry!”
Ma gets up to tend to the buffet she has set out, happy with all the compliments she’s receiving from her guests.
But while everyone else is happy and celebratory, I feel tortured. Eva ended up being backstabbing and toxic, but she was right about one thing—Garrett was not the man I thought he was. In the end, he was just like all the other opportunists I’ve dated. No, worse.
And now, I’m going to have to be there when he gives his interview, staring him straight in the eyes.
As Jenna put it, it’s our last best chance.
There are still times I retreat to an oasis in my mind where only he lingers. I make him into the perfect person that he was, the one I fell in love with.
But you can’t fall in love with someone that doesn’t exist, or at least that’s what I tell myself. Whatever it is we had together, it wasn’t real.
“Oh-my-God—this burns!” Jenna’s shrill voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I look over to see her fanning her face.
