“My turn!” Meghan downs a shot glass, then immediately gags, spitting half of it out.
“My pa’s moonshine ain’t no joke.”
Jenna pours another shot. “Here, your turn to celebrate.”
“Ummm—do you realize the trouble I’m in?”
“No one here’s gonna flip on you,” Jenna waves her hand dismissively. “We all love you, and besides, the cameras aren’t rolling.”
“Look, even if I wasn’t at risk of losing my career, I wouldn’t drink that. I never drink anything clear. I have a system for handling my alcohol.”
“A system?” Meghan says.
“Yeah, I learned early on that getting sloppy could lead to unfortunate consequences, but I have to drink in some settings for my job, so I have a system. I always bring a friend along wherever I go. Then, I drink a red drink first, blue drink second, orange drink third, and I tell the bartender not to make them strong, and no more than one every thirty minutes. Once I drink my third, it’s water from then on out.”
“You’re like me. I live off of fufu drinks,” Meghan says. “I can’t even believe I suffered this.” She holds up her shot glass.
I notice Jenna has a stoic look on her face, not at all jovial like the rest of us.
“Why are you looking like someone just took the last piece of cake?” I ask.
“So you’re a daiquiri girl, am I right?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you drink wine? Beer?”
“I’ll have a glass of wine if I must.”
“Never straight liquor?”
“Why are you asking me this? Is my ‘evolution’ going to include a liquor sponsor?”
“Just answer the question,” Jenna says impatiently.
“I’ve never had a high tolerance for alcohol, and once I get drunk, I’ll drink anything put in front of me. If I didn’t follow my system, I’d be sloppy drunk every single time. When I first got to Hollywood, I remember someone putting 99 Bananas in front of me, and it tasted like Juicy Fruit gum, and I went completely overboard. That’s when I developed the system.”
“Interesting?”
“How is that at all remotely interesting? If anything, my friends have always seen me as too analytical and not fun enough.”
My father booms from across the room. “And as soon as little Whent comes of age, I have the perfect bull to break her in.”
Laughter echoes from the speakers.
“Wait-wait-wait—bull to break her in? Is little Alistair Whent a lady cow?” Alistair says forlornly.
Even I have to laugh at the ridiculousness of what’s going on.
I turn to Meghan. “I really do think Alistair was meant for television.”
Jenna gets up from her seat, ignoring me completely. “I’m turning in for the night.”
“Oh, come on,” Meghan chides. “It’s almost four in the morning. If you haven’t slept by now, you’re not going to.”
“In case you’ve forgotten, it’s a big day today. I need to make sure I’m wide-eyed and fresh.”
My gut twists into torturous knots. Today is the day my ex-lover betrays me to the tabloids. And I get to watch.
