“Do not fucking touch me, ever,” he sneers at me, his voice a deep growl of menace. "We are done for good," he says with a finality that terrifies me, before walking away.
I can’t control the tears and trembles in my body. My mind is a mess. I don’t know what to do. He emerges from the bedroom in casual clothes and moves past me, silent. The door slams shut, a loud deafening sound, the final punctuation mark on our relationship. “We are done.”His words hammer through my being.
The shrill ring of my phone cuts through the silence, but I remain sprawled on the floor, unable to move or answer the call. The ringing sound vibrates, but I remain lost in my position, unable to process what just happened. The ringing stops and I’m still in the same position.
I hear a knock on the door. Hope rises in me.He came back.I get off the floor and race to the door, flinging it open, hoping to see Daniel, but it’s a delivery guy, handing me an envelope. I sign for the envelope, and close the door. I’m not eager to find out what’s in the envelope. I look out the window and don’t see Daniel’s car. “He’s really gone.” A new set of tears starts to fall. Idecided to open the envelope that has no return address, just my name on it.
Taking the content out, my whole being is stunned in shock as the pictures fall on the floor. Each picture in high resolution of me in a compromised state with Teni half-naked. I’m naked in every single one and Teni is all over me. His mouth on my nipples. I drop to the floor, gathering the pictures. Then, I see it. A note that feels like lead in my hand.
I read.
Anu,
Break up with that white boy or an envelope gets mailed to your father, your brother and all your students. We have a record of them all.
Talk soon.
I drop the note and pictures like they are on fire. But seeing them scattered on the floor is worse. I gather the papers and pictures, stuffing them back inside the envelope. Racing to my bedroom, I raise my mattress and place the envelope there and drop the mattress. I pull a legging from my closet and put a T-shirt on. I return to get my phone and call for a ride to Nkem’s place. I’m downstairs, waiting for the ride when it arrives. I keep wiping each tear as it falls. How did my life go from happy to worst nightmare in minutes? I fight to not breakdown. When the car pulls up in front of Nkem’s building, I race out. By the time I make it to her door, the tears are flowing uncontrollably.
She pulls me in without question and hugs me tight. I can’t stop crying. We sit on her sofa and I hysterically let the tears out
“What’s wrong? What happened?” Nkem asks.
“Dan…iel broke up with me,” I answer through tears that I can’t control.
“What? But he loves you, and you love him. How—”
“It doesn’t matter anymore, he said we are done.”
My body shudders with the pain my heart feels. I can’t go on without him. I want to die. Nkem lets me lie on the sofa and I cry hysterically. How do I live without Daniel? How is it possible to go on without Daniel?Howrepeats like a broken record in my head.
Nkem brings me lunch and I just stare at it and turn away from it. My heart and soul are shattered. She repeatedly asks what caused our break-up, but I can’t bring myself to tell her. Each time I think about it, tears flow. She stops asking and continues to push food my way.
“You should eat something, Anu, or you might get sick.”
I turn away from her and just pull my knee to my chest and let my heart shatter into pieces that could never be put together.
The pain in my bones starts to build, but I hold it in. For the first time, I want it to take over. Sharp pain surges through my body. I shut my eyes, holding in the pain that’s torturing me.
“Anu, are you in pain?” she asks, knowing all the signs.
I shake my head, holding the pain in.
“You are lying. It’s clear on your face that you are in pain. Where is your medication?”
“I don’t have it with me,” I murmur.
“We can go to your place and get it.”
“No!” I answer just as another surge of pain charges through me. I can’t hold it in anymore, I cry out loud.
“Anu!” Nkem gets closer to me but I put my hand out to stop her. “Let’s go to the hospital.”
“No!” I want this to end me. At some point, severe pain may cause a stroke, then I won’t feel a thing.
I continue to scream in pain—pain so strong that I can’t move, just my eyes rolling. Nkem is yelling at me that we should go to the hospital and all I can think of is: why is it taking long for my life to end? If I die, I die with my shame and a brokenheart. Daniel can live his life without me. Another surge charges through me, making me scream out loud.
“That’s it, you have cried for hours and have been in pain just as long. I’m calling 911.”
