I knew, at twenty-four, I should have had my own life, and I did. I was a recent college graduate who graduated top of her class from the most prestigious HBCU in the country. Although I’d majored in Psychology, I knew a career in music was in my future. The love for sounds was in my bloodline, and I couldn’t escape it if I wanted to.
I had a love-hate relationship with music. I loved it for the way it made me feel, but hated it for how it tore my family apart. The rift it had caused was evident, especially in moments like right now.
“Gina May, I know you’re upset, but who the hell do you think you getting smart with?”
I knew she was upset by her tone, but if that wasn’t evident enough, the use of my full name further let me know. Hearing my mother say my full name was when I would usually end the conversation and pick up whatever I was talking about with my daddy because it was always easier to get whatever I wanted from him.
“Can you put me on speaker phone, please, Mama?”I knew my daddy was always right by her side, and since I wanted both of them to hear what I was about to say, I waited for her to confirm she’d done what I asked.
“He can hear you.”
“Look, I am not trying to be disrespectful. Y’all know I love you more than anything in the world, but I’m tired. I’m tired of sitting in this big, old house, waiting for you to carve out time in the schedule for me. I am your only child, and all I ask is to at least see your faces on my birthday.”
“Baby girl. I’m so sorry you’re sad right now, but just give us some time. We will be home before you know it. You know this is our last tour.”My daddy had been making the same promise for years, and I was finally tired of hearing it.
“I know, but when you make it, I won’t be here. This was my last attempt at keeping this family together when it’s clear you two have all you need without me. I love you,”was the last thing I said before hanging up the phone and leaving the studio to pack my things. It was time for me to spread my wings and make my own mark on the world.
Chapter
Two
Ramel (Method) Method
“Lacy, why are we even doing this? It’s clear you’re in love with Michael. Why tie yourself to a man you don’t love, for the rest of your life?” It was at least thirty degrees outside, and we’d been on the balcony, going back and forth for the last hour and a half, still getting nowhere. I saw things one way, and Lacy had something way different in that bird brain of hers.
I didn’t call Lacy a bird brain because she wasn’t smart. In fact, she was one of the smartest girls I knew, but she didn’t always act like it. Like right now, she was trying to not only convince me but also convince herself that a marriage between us would somehow be beneficial despite the fact that neither of us was checking for each other like that.
“Because, Ramel, what other choice do we have? We both knew this day was coming.”
“That doesn’t mean we have to go along with it. This agreement was made when we were kids, and honestly, it don’t have shit to do with us.”
I honestly didn’t understand why Lacy refused to see things the way I did. We were in the same boat, being forced intosomething neither of us wanted. Still, I could tell she was committed to lying to herself just like we’d been doing to everyone else.
“Listen, this is not a discussion we are about to have.” Lacy wiped the tears from her face and straightened her dress. “Let’s get back in there before someone notices we’re gone.”
Lacy and I walked hand in hand back into our engagement party. I didn’t know half the people in the building, and I knew she didn’t either. The guest list had been meticulously curated by our mothers and consisted of people who could help further the project they’d been working on our whole lives: Ponya Medical Center.
Ponya Medical had been my parents’ dream since they came to the United States as two young immigrants hoping to become doctors. The plan was to come here, study medicine, and take what they learned back to Somalia to heal the sick. However, after having me, their plans of returning home to Africa changed to building a hospital here.
All eyes were on my fiancée and me as we walked back into the building. I could tell they were all wondering what was next for us after we tied the knot. I was sure they wanted to know if we would become doctors and work at Ponya Medical, but neither of us wanted to walk in our father’s footsteps. While Lacy was actually in medical school and putting on a good front, I’d already joined the Army and made it clear it wasn’t happening on my end.
My future wife, whom I had no romantic interest in, was a Med student by day and a struggling actress whenever she could carve out the time to chase her actual dreams. Her parents knew she had no interest in medicine, but were still trying to control every aspect of her life, which was why we were at an engagement party neither of us wanted to attend. I’d been to a couple of her plays and even watched a movie where sheplayed an extra. Lacy had real talent, but her Oscar-worthy performance was the show she was putting on right now.
We got settled at the table in the middle of the ballroom that had been reserved for us and put on our best fake smiles. I lost count of how many people we greeted as they passed. They were all wearing the same congratulatory smiles as if they knew either of us. I didn’t care to shake any of their hands or have small talk. I didn’t want to even be at this party, but Lacy was hell-bent on doing what her parents demanded. She’d always been that way for as long as I’d known her.
I tried not to judge her for doing the same things she did as a child, well into her adult years, because I’d just recently decided to stray away from my parents’ rules. Joining the military was the first rebellious decision I’d made, and it was the one that almost broke my family. I was supposed to go to Med school and become a doctor, just like my parents, but I managed to convince them to let me join. I told my father I would get the military to pay for my schooling, and once I was in school, I would eventually leave the military. What they didn’t know was that once you signed a contract, there was nothing anyone could do to get you out of it, so they just had to deal with me.
The dinner went by in a blur as I raked over my food, which wasn’t bad at all, but still couldn’t give me the appetite I needed to actually eat it. Although the food was good, I couldn’t take my mind off of not wanting to be in the same room with the people who’d given me life. As much as I wanted to love them, the expectations of being part of this family were becoming a headache that I didn’t know if I could stomach much longer.
We didn’t get the first sign of excitement until the night was coming to an end. Lacy’s real man, Michael, stormed into the ballroom, clearly drunk and on one. I couldn’t blame him, especially if the woman I loved told me that she was going to marry another man. That would never be something that satright with me. I didn’t know how he was keeping it together, but it seemed like that shit had come to a head.
“What the fuck is he doing here?” Lacy asked as if I had an answer. The only two things I knew about Michael were that he was her dude and he was a bitch. Those weren’t qualities that made me want to know more.
“How the fuck am I supposed to know, Lace?” I shrugged before downing the last of my drink and waving the server over to bring me another one. I wasn’t drunk enough for this shit.
Without another word to me, Lacy got up and tried her best to make it over to him as fast as she could, but she was too late. I could tell by the look on Michael’s face that he had been letting this simmer for a while. All the public appearances we had to make probably had him more fed up than I was.
The only thing different between the two of us was that I didn’t care for Lacy at all. I loved her like a sister because we grew up together, but it was nothing more than that. When it came to wanting her to have feelings toward me, that was something that Michael never had to worry about. Even if I did go with this sham of a marriage, I would never have his girl in my bed.
