His nostrils flare. “Jah know.” But he still doesn’t move. Exactly. That’s all I need to know. I move quick, straddle him and slap him so hard his head turns. The silence after is heavy. Then chaos. I don’t even remember how it escalated, but next thing, we’re shouting, grabbing, and it’s a full-blown war in the front seat of his car. World War Nara. And yes, I started it.
NICKOI
She swings on me again. I grab her hand. I’m not trying to hurt her, but if I defend myself the way I know how… I might. “Yow! Zara, stop!” I raise my hand, not to hit just to block. She don’t care. She keeps shouting, fighting, flinging words I’m trying hard not to absorb. But each one chips away at my restraint. I feel it creeping in, that darker side. The one I don’t let out around her.
“ZARA, EASY NUH!” I bark, finally gripping her wrists tighter than before. She falls back in the seat, breath heaving.
“Cya believe mi so fool,” she mutters. I stare out the window, fists clenched. The side of my face burns where she slapped me. Still not as hot as the rage I’m swallowing. She thinks I’m hiding a girl. But it wasn’t like that. I was on the phone with British and my lawyer. And yeah, it was a woman’s voice, but Zara doesn’t know the details. She didn’t even allow me a moment to explain before she exploded. She doesn’t understand that I keep things confidential because I love her, not because I’m being unfaithful. If I share something with her, it’s because I’ve already thought it through. Her reaction made it clear she doesn’t trust me. And that? It hurts more than the slap. Gavin and Mama walk out with drinks, smiling among themselvesl. I wipe my face and push the heat down.
“Here, this one’s yours,” Mama says, handing me a cup.
“Thanks,” I mumble, resting it in the holder.
“Yuh alright?” she asks Zara. I don’t even look. I already know her voice off. I text Gutta to link me.
“Mama, some things come up. Mi bredgrin a pick mi up.” She raises an eyebrow at me. I don’t explain.
“Mi a go mek yuh drive the car,” I tell Gavin. He nods, quiet. Mama watches me too long, then finally puts down her cup.
“Nickoi, look at me.” I do. Her face changes. Gavin winces.
“Your face!” she gasps. I hate pity. It’s worse than pain.
“Wah happen, don’t feel like yuh no fi talk to we enuh,” mama says and I nod. I know.
“We a family,” Gavin adds and I nod, wondering if I should tell them.
Mama stares like she’s waiting for an answer. Gavin too. But I’m not saying a word. I’m not trying to disrespect them, but this isn’t up for discussion. “Everything gov,” I say. That’s all they’re getting. Mama sighs. She knows better than to press. Gavin nods like he understands, but I know him still a wonder. Zara sits silent, arms crossed, tears threatening. They’re silently staring. Iglare at her for a beat. We nuh lef… but mi need space. “Mi cya stay inna the car right now.”
“Mi understand,” Gavin says.
Mama sighs. “And look how mi did want yuh come.”
“Eeeh,” Gavin hisses. “Zara, a so yuh gwaan wid people?” I shake my head, eyes outside. I don’t even want to talk anymore. My jaw still tight. Ten minutes pass and nobody says much. Zara just sits there leaking tears, arms crossed. I’m not even watching her. Mi deh pan my own meds. Bout she come box man over foolishness. A white Crown pulls up and I immediately know it’s Gutta. That’s my cue. I shift in my seat and glance at Mama. She’s smiling, trying to hold it together.
“Miss Sandra, just keep strong yuh zi mi? Mi glad mi did get the chance fi meet yuh. We’ll link up again.”
She wipes under her glasses. “Aww, nuh mek mi cry now, just stay sweet, yuh hear? And take care of my moody granddaughter.” I glance at Zara.
“Yah.”I reach for the glove compartment. Not gonna let all this tension kill the moment I planned. “Gavin, come ‘round.” He leans forward as I pull out the suede box. Mama’s eyes light up.
“What’s that?” she asks. I crack it open without saying much. Two Pandora necklaces—GrandmaandGranddaughter, their names engraved. A reminder. A promise. Even if they’re not together, this will keep them close.
“Whew.” Mama’s voice hitch a little.
“Pandora that?” Gavin asks. I nod once.
“Hot lakka drops!” He laughs. I hand Mama hers, rest Zara’s necklace on the armrest beside her. She finally look at me, face streaked with silent tears. I lean in, press a kiss to her cheek, and whisper in her ear—
“Mi love yuh, even when mi mad at yuh. Mek sure yuh know dat.” She breaks all over again. I pull away, pick up my wallet and walk away.
ZARA
The Next Morning
The sunlight slicing through the gliding doors tells me I overslept.Jesus. I stretch against the headboard and glance over. He didn’t sleep here. I knew it. The sheets too damn smooth. As I get up, Mama and Gavin’s voices echo in my head, still scolding me from the ride to the airport, then the ride back. I didn’t even argue.
Couldn’t. They were right. I was wrong.Glad yuh know.Ishake it off and walk over to the cribs. Their eyes light up when they see me.“Hey babies,”I coo, melting instantly.
