In the background, I spot Nickoi. He’s wearing a fresh white tee, fitted jeans, and though I can’t see them fully, I know he’s in his favorite Clarks. His hair is newly plaited, neat and clean, he looks like money, and walks like it too. He’s at the cashier, talking to the clerk while holding two baby bags. Meanwhile, I’m over here slowly roasting under this useless fan. “Mommy, mi hot,” I whine, pulling at the layers of tulle wrapped around me. “The fan in front of mi a blow hot air, and mi deh yah inna princess dress.”
She laughs. “Mi nuh understand how them nuh have AC?”
“Mi affi go ask, cause this nah work,” I say, already regretting not packing my portable fan.
“True you a use too much AC at home eno.” True. Nickoi literally can’t sleep without the AC on. If it reach 27 degrees in the house, him vex. Gavin walks in just in time, holding up a container with my Cobb salad.
“See yuh salad yah, royalty,” he grins.
“Thanks Gav,” I say, taking it. It’s my fourth one this week. Lettuce, tomatoes, crispy bacon, fried chicken nuggets, boiled eggs, and avocado, yes, I’m obsessed.
“Gyal, yuh just a glow,” Gavin says, pulling up a chair. “No wonder Nickoi nuh stop spend pon yuh.” Before I can even answer, Candy calls him from across the studio.
“Candy, yuh want mi?” he shouts, then adds, “Talk fast enuh lady, mi is a business man.” Laughter erupts again.Aye, mi cyaa bother wid him eno.
“Cyaa stand yuh enuh, bwoy,” Candy yells back from her makeup chair. I nod in agreement, chewing a mouthful of lettuce. Cyaa stand him at all.Good thing yuh siddung,my subconscious throws shade like usual, and I can’t help but laugh out loud.
“Soon come, Zara,” Gavin says before walking off. I nod, then glance back at my phone. That’s when I notice Mommy. She’s quiet now, just… watching me with a soft smile. One of those real, reflective kinds that makes you feel like she’s thinking a thousand thoughts at once.
I squint playfully. “Mommy… wah yuh a think?”
She blinks like I caught her red-handed. “Mi nuh memba if mi ever seh this, but mi proud a yuh, and mi love the woman yuh turning into,” she says, her smile stretching wider but softer, like it’s carrying weight. I smile. Awww… Mommy, why yuh wah get mi emotional now?
“Mommy mi nah mess up mi makeup eno. Candy just finish beat mi face not even half hour ago,” I joke, fanning myself dramatically. Mi cyaa afford fi cry yet. The picture nuh tek yet.
She laughs gently. “Mi nuh want yuh to either,” she says, then her voice drops, more serious now. “But look at it… Yuh change so much inna short time. An’ all because of Nickoi, when yuh really think ‘bout it. Mi grateful, honestly. You don’t even act childish anymore… You act like you ready, ready fi everything. Fi be a mommy, fi be Nickoi wife.” She lowers her voice into a whisper and leans in like it’s just us two. “And mi notice likkle changes inna Nickoi too. Him nah hide it either. Mi know seha you and the baby dem a cause it. Both a unuh changing each other… inna good way.”
I start smiling hard. “Mi see it too, Mommy.” She chuckles, looking at me with so much pride it almost hurts.
“Me? Proud bad bad. Mi a mussy Penny Proud.”
I burst out laughing. “Mommy! Yuh still a watch that?”
She nods without shame, wearing a goofy grin. “Who fi stop mi? You think cause mi a big woman mi fi stop watch what mi love? That’s my cartoon.”
I chuckle and shake my head. “Mi never seh nothing,” I say in that sarcastic tone she knows all too well. We both laugh before she quiets again, more thoughtful now.
“Look pon you… Just 22, a whole teacher, even though yuh get pregnant and did mek mi worry likkle bit… yuh still turn ‘round and mek mi proud. Mi love how you and Nickoi figure out life together. And now? Look at you, engaged, glowing, about to have twins, and still so beautiful.” Her eyes are glistening. Mine? Fighting not to join hers.
“Mommy, mi beg yuh… do not mek mi cry. Mi nah mess up mi face before the photographer even call mi up.”
She laughs, wiping the corner of her eye. “Mi done.” Just then, Nickoi pops up on the screen, a smirk already dancing on his lips.
“Baby mother,” he grins, grabbing the phone.Hey baby daddy!My subconscious shouts, waving like she’s bold. I want to say it out loud too, but I pause. Mommy deh right beside him. And even though she knows what it is between us… it still feels foreign. I’ve never been this soft, this… affectionate, with a man in front of her.
Mi understand,my subconscious whispers.But come on, Zara… say it. Yuh twenty-two. Yuh grown. She right. And truthfully? There’s no shame in love that’s real.
“Baby daddy,” I smile at the screen, and he smirks. Lawd, mi wish my subconscious coulda step out and live fi me sometimes, she brave bad.Purr, mi love how yuh move…quiet but mysterious. Innocent on the outside but yuh mind? Hmm.I stifle a laugh. This woman in my head is something else.
“What you eating?” Nickoi asks, switching into that accent that makes my toes curl. Smooth, deep… like a scamma voice, but manage to not sound like a fool. He soundsrich.Sexy, in other words. I show him the plate.
“Oh… Cobb salad.”
He nods. “Nice.” If only he could hear what’s going on in my head right now… Jesus.
“Zara, mi know yuh woulda wah chat to yuh man longer, but come on, chop chop!” Gavin claps twice as he walks over. I burst out laughing. On-screen, Nickoi is grinning. “A the photographer call her,” Gavin tells him apologetically before walking off.
“Jah Jah,” Nickoi groans, “You look good enuh, Mami. Wish mi did in there so we coulda go inna the bathroom fi a minute or two.”Jeusssss!
