4
I HADN’T EVEN SEEN HIM NAKED
Aspen
I was sittingat the bar in the middle of The Roadhouse, staring down at the text message that just came through to my phone—rereading it for the thirteenth time.
Rowan: Hey, Aspen. I’m glad you enjoyed the flowers. We should have dinner tonight. Together.
I told the man I wasn’t interested, and he asked me out? There was absolutely no chance I could go out with him. Not alone, at least...was I mentally trying to find a way to dignify saying yes to this man? Truly? My internal compass was telling me it would most definitely be a massive mistake. He technically didn’t even ask me. There was no question mark written in his text. He essentiallytoldme we were going to have dinner. Right?
Ivy walked over in the midst of my rereading the single text for the fourteenth time. She was smiling at first glance, until she saw my frown. “What’s wrong, boo?” I didn’t say a wordand simply handed her my phone. She read the message thread quickly, and I could tell when she read through it a second time.
“So, you turned him down? And he replied by asking you out? What are you going to say back?”
“Uh, no! Just like I did before,” I said, exasperated.
“Okay, hear me out.” I could already tell I was going to hate whatever she had to say about this situation. “What if we meet him in neutral territory? Todd wants to head back over to The Raven tonight when I get off. Invite him to join us. No pressure. Just a couple of dances, maybe a beer with friends. See where it goes.”
I looked at her for a moment, anxiously chewing on my lower lip, weighing my options. It wasn’t a bad idea. Plus, she’d told me before that he was a no-commitment type of guy. Maybe this was my chance to just blow off some steam and let loose for once in my life.
“It isn’t a horrible idea,” I grumbled.
She let out a brief laugh. “Oh, lighten up, Aspen.” She took my hands in her own and looked me in the eyes, suddenly more serious. “Listen, I know I don’t fully get it. I also know that Sam really, really fucked you up. But you aren’t going to curl up and become a nun, right? Rowan doesn’t do commitment, so this is an easy trial run for you to get back up in the swing of things, ya know. He probably just thinks you’re gorgeous and wants to see what’s underneath.” She glanced down toward my chest as she did a little shimmy and giggled. “And news flash! You are!”
I could tell by the look in her eyes she cared, and she was saying all thisbecauseshe cared so deeply, but I still sort of wanted to punch her. “Fine, but if he ends up being a crazy stalker who tries to lock me up and keep me in his sex dungeon, it’s going to be your fault!”
“Oh, please. You could use some sex dungeon time. Find out if he has a friend with a matching sex dungeon for me. Imay need it next time Todd pisses me off. But I’m texting him the new plan now! No backing out,” she said with a wink and laughed before walking away to check on her tables.
I looked down at my phone. No pressure. Simple night out with friends. I could totally do that.
Me: No dinner. But Ivy and I are meeting Todd over at The Raven later, if you want to tag along. Not a date. Just hanging out.
I flipped my phone over and took a sip of my drink. Maybe he’d say no thanks, and then I could go back to worrying about nothing more than my art. As soon as the thought passed through my head, my phone buzzed against the polished wood of the bar top.
Reaching down, I flipped it over to read the text.
Rowan: Let me know what time, and I’ll see you there, little angel.
Well, I guess this was happening. Might as well run home and get changed.
I’d runhome with enough time to change out of my comfy “I’m off work” clothes, and into something more suitable for a night out with friends. Plus, I may or may not have run a straightener through my hair and put on a touch of mascara. Nothing crazy. I hadno oneto impress after all.
I spun in the mirror before heading back to Ivy and smiled softly at myself. Once again, taking a small moment in time to appreciate the lengths I’d gone through to make it this far.
The ripped-up dark skinny jeans would stick out at The Raven, but I didn’t care. I’d worn fishnets underneath that came up just above my jeans and looked great with my cropped Iron Maiden t-shirt. Plus, my Vans slip-ons, a few silver rings, and my signature red lipstick. I felt amazing—like the Aspen I’d always longed to be.
I’d spent years listening to my ex try to dictate what type of clothes I wore, especially when we went out with his friends. Anything that showed “extra skin” as he’d said wasn’t allowed. He’d accuse me of trying to “impress” his friends and get them into our bed.
I rolled my eyes just thinking about the absolutely moronic idea of getting his idiot friends in bed with me. So no, I didn’t care if I stood out with the typical crowd of The Raven. I just wanted to feel good about myself, and I did. Truly. I’d discovered more about myself in the last six months settling in Raven Creek than I had in the previous twenty-three years of my life surrounded by people who lived to tear me down.
Tucking my apartment key in my front pocket with my ID and my cell phone in my back pocket, I was ready to go.
The plan was to meet Ivy over at The Roadhouse first, and then Todd was going to pick us up and drive us over to The Raven. Most of the time, I was so thankful that The Roadhouse was only two blocks from my apartment. When I got to Raven Creek, one of the first things I did was sell my car. It didn’t make sense when my apartment, work, and the small grocery store were in a four-block radius of each other. So, I’d put the money in my savings account just in case anything happened.
But days like today, when I relied on other people, like Todd, for rides, it made me want to kick something.
The sky was edging on the tip of darkness, but the sun was still hanging on with small streaks of purple through the Colorado sky. It was only the middle of July, so the weather wasstill beautiful, and the breeze off the mountains that surrounded our small town was refreshing. All ingredients for a nice walk back to work to meet Ivy.
