All this as I clung to the hope the circulating news would abate by the time I pulled myself out of my self-imposed seclusion.
But for all my effort, at the back of my mind songs about marital bliss and heading to the church and saying special vows played repeatedly.
Late in the afternoon, I finally emerged from my room. I had to face it. Matthew was going to marry Susie and there was nothing I could do about it.
Once in the hall, I met the one person I definitely didn’t want to run into; Susie herself, the bride to be, the newly engaged. Would she flaunt her flashy ring? Did she have the faintest clue how I felt about Matthew?
“Hey,” she called out, all smiles. “I haven’t seen you all day. Is everything all right?”
“Sure. Fine. Never better.”
“Abbie was looking for you earlier. I think she wants to discuss the final scene between you and Matthew.”
“Oh. All right. I’ll go down and find her.”
With just a gentle and almost shy tap on my arm, she stopped me. “Can I ask you something?”
My breath caught in my throat as I turned to her. What question? What could she possibly have to ask me? How I feel about her and Matthew?
I smiled. “Sure. What is it?”
“I’m usually good at picking up on people’s...you know...their vibe...how they...”
She stopped as if I should understand what she meant, but I just shook my head, not understanding her at all.
“Lately, I’ve gotten the sense that you’re...well, a little distant when I’m around. Have I done something to offend you in anyway?”
I let out a nervous laugh. “Offend me? No. Of course not. And I’m so sorry if I did anything to give you that impression. You know how it is on and off set. Your head gets into a particular space and...you know...you’re Mary Crawford and...”
She smiled. “Oh. Right. Yeah. I know what you mean. Well. I’m glad I cleared that up, because I’m really fond of you.”
My eyes misted over, but I didn’t know why.
“Well, I’d better let you go down to see Abbie,” she said as she continued on past me, most likely to Matthew’s room.
I suddenly felt awful for not reciprocating. Aside from her relationship with Matthew, I really was fond of the woman she was, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. The pain of her with Matt was simply too much.
I shook it off and headed down the stairs to find Abbie.
“Good,” she let out on seeing me. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
“I got caught up reading my lines in my room,” I fibbed. “I know we have a big scene tomorrow.”
“Indeed.”
She led the way to the large room that housed many of the costumes for the movie.
“Keely is re-thinking how she wants this scene to play out.”
“Oh?”
She pulled out a heavy velvet cape and a thick woolen dress. “This may need altering. It wasn’t meant to be worn by you, so if you could try it on.”
“I don’t understand,” I said, not wanting to argue, but truly not seeing the purpose of the heavy garments.
“Sorry. I know I’m not being clear. Keely wants to shoot this final scene outdoors.”
“Outside?”
