“You heard me. You’ve been alone here for far too long. It’s time to get out again.”
“I could say the same about you, Bett. It’s been over a year since Stephen died.”
“I know, and I’m ready to change that. I feel like I’m finally ready to meet someone new.”
Olivia frowned. “I don’t want to meet anyone new. I’m perfectly happy and content to live out my days on the estate.”
“Nonsense. You’re only two and twenty. Surely such an existence can’t be all you desire for your life. What about love and the possibility of children?”
“Sadly, I don’t think I’ll be able to experience that joy. I never became pregnant with Armstrong. Perhaps I’m barren and cannot have children.”
“You might be able to have them if you find another husband, a man you adore. The fault could have been with the viscount, not you. His first wife never gave him a child either, which strongly supports my theory.”
“I hadn’t thought about that,” Olivia said, sipping her tea.
“I was with child when Stephen died, and I believe it was the shock and trauma of his death that caused me to lose the child a few weeks later.”
Olivia squeezed her friend’s hand. “Oh, Bett. I wish I’d known. I’m so sorry you had to endure that all alone. I would have come immediately if you’d asked me.”
“It was the early days of the pregnancy, and I’d only told Stephen the wonderful news that very morning. We were so happy… until we weren’t.”
“What a horrible ordeal. You should have told me.”
“I couldn’t bear to think about it. The loss was too great. I thought I’d at least have a small piece of Stephen to cherish after he was gone, but even that wastaken away from me. I couldn’t face anyone and spent weeks in my bed, unable to rouse myself enough to get up. Thank goodness for my maid, Lydia. She was a lifesaver and made sure I was taken care of. With her silent support, I never felt guilty for spending the time I needed to grieve.”
“I’m so very sorry that happened to you. How have things been since Stephen’s brother inherited the estate?”
“Peter is a wonderful man and has been very understanding and good to me. His wife is a lovely young woman, but I feel like it’s time for me to move on. The new baroness should be free to run the household as she prefers without me underfoot. Not so different from your own situation, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“Think about it. What happens when the new viscount finally decides to come here? He may be married, and I’m sure his wife wouldn’t be too happy about a beautiful young widow living in the main house.”
“I’ll move to the dower house.”
“Hmm…that’s not the point, Liv, and you know it.”
“Why are you so intent on marrying me off? I like it here. I get to do what I want when I want, and no one can order me to do anything I’d rather not. I get to garden if I like and ride around the estate to my heart’s content. I enjoy my independence and don’twant to be under another man’s thumb ever again. I’m not sure I could ever trust another man.”
“My dearest, I understand from what you have confided in me that you endured a horrendous marriage with the late viscount, but not all men are cruel. My dear Stephen was a wonderful and honorable gentleman, and I’d give anything to have one more day with him. You could find someone as wonderful as he was and fall in love,” Bett said.
“I’m not willing to risk my independence, and I vowed I’d never be put in a situation like that again.” Olivia pushed down the horrible memories that threatened her long-sought-after peace whenever Armstrong’s name was mentioned. She reminded herself that her husband was dead and could never hurt her again. She was safe. It was what she repeated to herself over and over.
“That was your father’s doing. He chose Armstrong for you, but for the life of me, I cannot fathom why he’d choose someone old enough to be your grandfather.”
“Money.”
“Money?”
“Yes, my father thought his bank account was more important than his daughter’s happiness. Though I didn’t see the marriage contract, I did eventually find out that Armstrong paid my father’s debts, plus a very healthy amount every quarter in additionfor the chance to own me. My father couldn’t resist such an offer, even though I begged him to reconsider and allow me a Season to find a suitable husband. He wouldn’t listen and told me I would do as he ordered. I had no choice. Being married to Armstrong was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Who told you about the details of the marriage contract? Did your mother fight for you?” Bett asked.
“My poor mother was afraid of her own shadow and would never argue with my father. His word was law. It was actually the solicitor who informed me about the settlement when Armstrong’s will was read. The only thing my father did for me was to make sure I had an extremely generous widow’s portion. All the property was entailed, so I didn’t receive any property to call my own except I was given lifetime access to the dower house.”
“You poor thing. Would you like to unburden yourself about it? I’m a very good listener.”
Olivia shook her head. She had told Bett some of the details of her horrible marriage, but some things were just too painful to share. “No. Thank you for your concern, but I never want to think about Armstrong again.”
