I gripped my gloves in my hand and absentmindedly watched as people whizzed past me. Aimee didn’t need protecting—not really. She had people in her corner, standing with her.
So, did she need me?
Did she want me?
Was it stupid to hope she did?
I fought the urge to scream and let out every frustration I was currently feeling. I let out a hard breath and started pulling my gloves back on. I would finish this run, and then head over to the training area and get some real practice in—go until my mind shut off and I could just be empty. Maybe pure exhaustion would quiet my mind enough to get some decent sleep tonight. I was about to pull down my goggles when my phone vibrated again.
I nearly ignored it, but something urged me to pull a glove off and look at it.
Zara’s name lit up the screen with multiple incoming texts.
Bean
Zara
I know you’re skiing, but Aimee is looking for you.
She looks like she’s been crying.
Lukas, I stg if you did something else I’m telling Mom and Dad you’re a dick to women.
Also if you cost me an opportunity to stake for Brennan, you better start sleeping with one eye open.
My heart started beating rapidly in my chest, and I quickly typed out a message to my sister.
Lukas
Tell her that I will be there as soon as I can.
Don’t let her leave
And don’t leave her alone.
Yanking my gloves back on and pulling down my goggles, I waited for a clear moment before dipping back onto the slope to follow everyone down to the bottom.
CHAPTER 16
aimee
I wandered aimlesslyaround the lodge, wringing my hands in front of me—skin chaffed and rubbed raw, but I couldn’t stop. I’d spent the last three days in bed, curled up, not leaving for much.
Everyone was concerned—I knew. They just didn’t know that their concern felt like a weighted wet blanket, suffocating and confining. And it didn’t matter how much I wanted to get out from under it, to get up and prove them wrong, to let Orion’s words guide me. I couldn’t.
I’d just curled tighter, pulled the blankets higher and shut my eyes against the world—the noise, the people, the incessant brightness of it all. Eloise had stayed with me the first day, and I couldn’t stop crying. I hated that I was wrecking her vacation because she was stuck dealing with me and my issues.
The next morning I’d forced her to leave me, and she’d argued and I argued back until I screamed at her.
I wrung my hands harder, ignoring the burning pain. I tried to take a deep breath to stop the shallow pants threatening to knock me out. The hardwood floor was solid under my feet, causing my footsteps to echo faintly. I’d wanted to find somewhere to hole up, somewhere quiet and secluded that wasn’t my room.
I squeezed my eyes shut and the image of Eloise’s hurt expression after I’d screamed all my hurt at her. She’d flinched as I threw it all at her—every ounce of my pain. It was more than I had ever let anyone know. She’d looked sad then, and had turned around and walked out. I’d sunk to the floor, sobbed after that, and had crawled into bed at some point.
I spent the rest of that day crying and trying to calm down, to find a rational thought. I wasn’t overly successful.
When I woke up this morning, Eloise was already gone. Her bed was empty and when I pressed a hand to it, it was cold. And tears had welled up again. My red puffy eyes were probably what had Zara texting her brother in a worried frenzy after I ran into her.
I hadn’t wanted to run into anyone, and now I could only assume that Lukas was on his way. And I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see him or not. I wasn’t sure how to feel about him—why I reacted to him the way I did—why it had been a struggle to keep myself from wanting to be around him. More than once I’d thought about going to find him. Being in his arms the other day—the last time I’d felt that safe…well, it was a long time ago.
