I don’t know how long we stayed in that room, touching, feeling, fucking. We got lost in each other so thoroughly. And when it was time for me to leave, as I was picking up my discarded clothes and slipping them back over my body, I wondered if this would be the thing that actually broke me.
If what happened to Asher was just a blip in the bad things to ever happen in my life. If my injury was just a pothole in the road. I knew that once I left this room, something would shatter in me, and I wasn’t sure if it was something I was going to be able to fix. My hands trembled as I turned towards the door and reached for the handle.
I looked over at Lukas. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, utterly distraught, tears silently leaking down his cheeks. It felt like we should be doing everything to avoid this goodbye, this heartbreak.
“I don’t want this,” he said, his voice quiet.
His words cut off my thoughts, and my shoulders tensed.
“I don’t want to lose you like this.”
Tears blurred my own vision. My voice and breath caught in my throat and I wanted to start sobbing again.
“Look at me Aimee,” he said.
I let go of the door handle and turned to face him, but not drawing nearer. Touching him would mean staying and ending back up in that bed, and if we were ending this, then I needed the space. We needed the space.
He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Lukas shut his mouth and tried again, and I could see how his expression crumpled. He pressed his palms into his eyes, and I swallowed down my own pain.
CHAPTER 38
lukas
I heardthe door open and click shut.
I couldn’t breathe.
I gasped through the pain rampaging in my chest. My hand rubbed at the ache, as if that would lessen the hurt. I felt like I was dying. The air felt at the top of the mountain thin and somehow too hot—too thick to breathe properly.
I scooted back on the bed and ignored the way my phone screen lit up on the nightstand. I ignored Petyr’s face as it flashed on the screen with his incoming call. I’d been ignoring him all day, something I would undoubtedly pay for later. But for right now, I curled up on my bed and let the tears fall.
At some point, Zara knocked and came into the room through the connecting door to hers. The soft click of her door opening had me looking up. I glanced at her through watery eyes, and she looked as upset as I was. I reached behind me and opened the blankets to her and she took the invitation. Even though she was younger and it was my job to take care of her, I let my baby sister comfort me as the pain unrelentingly eviscerated my chest.
Ski Boiz
Tyler
Dude, what the hell happened?
Chase
Ellory is yelling at me. Bro?
Callum
Iz is losing her mind too. Josh and I don’t know what to tell her.
Micha
If he wants to tell us, he will.
Dude, no pressure.
Chase
No, all the pressure. Spill.
The Ski Boiz stick together.
