My first instinct was to inspect him for injuries. “Your ribs?”
“Head. Sometimes I get this random shooting pain. I probably have another headache coming on.”
“Sorry, honey. I’ll try not to make you laugh,” she said and kissed the top of his hair. “I need to run. I have some laundry to do and other adulting things before work tomorrow. I know Jere said he will take you to therapy, but I’d like to tag along. I can meet you there after work since you said the appointments are in the evening.”
“Sure,” Danny said, glancing at the glass of milk again. “The more the merrier to watch me make a fool of myself.”
“Boy, if you weren’t injured, I’d take you over my knee,” she said, doing a Mrs. B. impression.
A light danced in his eyes. “Yeah? How are you going to lift me into said lap with those scrawny arms?”
“You’re snarky today. That’s good.” She squealed with delight. “Love you.”
“Love you too.”
She was gone, leaving me to try and untangle their exchange. Sometimes human socialization was confusing to me. Of the few social gatherings I’d taken part in, I’d stuck to the outskirts, watching from afar as people chatted and laughed as if it were the easiest thing in the world. It was amazing how effortlessly some people could communicate. Most misunderstood me and took my quiet observation and single word answers as disinterest, when that was not the case, but Danny seemed to know what I was trying to say. Every now and then a little effort had to be put in.
He must have noticed my confusion, because he said, “It might be weird, but if Ronnie wasn’t a woman, I could see us being together.”
I mulled over his words for a long moment. “You mean, dating?”
“Yeah. When we met freshman year at college, she had just started transitioning. We had an instant attraction to each other. Back then she’d appeared more masculine but our magnetism toward each other was never based on that. I wanted to be attracted to her on a physical level, but as she started to present more as a woman, well… I’m solidlygay. She was okay with that, and we vowed to remain friends.”
I said nothing because I didn’t understand the issue. I’d come to realize a lot of people put stock in what was between their legs or how they dressed. That had always been a nonissue for me.
“But I’m glad to have her in my life. I’m happy she didn’t getitnearly as bad as I did. I feel good about being the punching bag for her. Being trans is on another level than being gay,” he said, his tone cracking. He cursed and pulled his attention away. “I wish I could remember. I don’t want to ask her about the whole thing on account of making her relive it.”
“Maybe it's for the best,” I suggested. “Not remembering everything that happened. I don’t think about my father anymore or remember much about all the shitty things he did. Getting the news he’d died was like listening to the weather, a fact something had happened, but had no effect on my life.”
Danny gaped at me and looked like he wanted to rush to comfort me. “Jere, why didn’t you tell me he died?”
I shrugged. “Why?”
He shook his head, his eyes rounding as if he were having a hard time processing my nonchalance. “Because he was yourfather.”
“He was just someone that had a hand in creating me. It doesn't bother me he is dead. I don’t understand why it’s upsetting you.”
Peeling his attention from me, he proceeded to stare at the glass of milk. I knew he’d wanted to say more, and I wondered if the reason he was so upset over my father’s death was because he missed his own dad. After all, the man hadn’t shown up once when he was in the hospital, though I had heard Mrs. B. talking to him over the phone, her words clipped.
“Are you mad at me?” I blurted, hating I’d dug up his skeletons.
“What? Why would I bemad at you?” He finally attempted to drink from the glass, choosing to slide it toward him instead of lifting it from the table. I might not be good in social situations, but I was good at reading Danny. What he’d wanted to say was,I’m not mad at you, but I’m pissed at my father for abandoning me.“No, I’m not mad. I just, I would like to have been there for you if you needed to talk about him or something.”
I retrieved a straw from the counter and plunked it into the glass. A smile ticked at his lips as he slurped up the milk.
“If I needed you, I would have let you know. But like I said, my father’s death was a nonissue so don’t think about it too hard.”
He drained half the glass then sat back in his chair with a heavy breath. “I wish I could remember what happened. The whole thing feels like a blackspot in my life. In any case, I overate. I’m going to take a nap and work on packing on the pounds I know are coming.”
I took his hand as he got to his feet. After he wobbled for a few moments, walking him to where he wanted to go wasn’t so bad. I guided him toward his bed and like yesterday, tucked him in.
“Goodnight, Mom,” he teased.
“Sleep well, Son,” I poked back and left, leaving the door ajar so I’d hear him if he called for me.
I sat down on the couch and went through my missed messages. Lexa had called yesterday, but with getting Danny home, I’d missed it. The guy I rented a room from in Springfield had sent me a text, wanting to know what I wanted to do with the stuff I’d left behind. I figured I could pay him to have it shipped to me because I didn’t feel like driving four hours to get things I didn’t really care about. Donating seemed like the better option. I sent Lexa a text, informing her things were going well. She was likely asleep seeing as she didn’t get home until the early hours of the morning. I sent Jack a formal quitting notice, which I was sure wasn’t a surprise to him. I would be living in Chicago for the foreseeable future, that I was sure of. Wherever Danny was, I’d be there too.
I blinked at the stack of mail piled on the coffee table. I figured it would be hard for him to open so many envelopes with his jerky hands, so I started ripping them open, and sorting the letters into two piles. One for junk, and the other for bills which had started to resemble a Jenga tower. They were mostly from the same few sources. Danny’s rental company, utilities like electric and water, and his health insurance to let him know his coverage was ending.
