“I don’t get why they need two forks to eat,” Abbie says, showing that common sense trumps made up math problems.
“The spaghetti is super tangled, and you need two forks. But the point is to put in a set of rules so that if they don’t all grab their left fork at the same time, no one can get the right fork to eat. Since no one lets go before they eat, we have a deadlocked situation.”
Susanna gives me a pointed stare. “Wow. That’s a lot of big concepts. But then again, you are some sort of math genius. Did you enter any Math Olympiads?”
I ignore her, because it’s obvious she’s been checking out my social media profile. Bet Lindsay set her up to this because she disapproves of me for her son.
“I’ve got it,” Abbie says, raising her hand. “Make a rule that they can only take two forks if both are available.”
“That’s a smart rule, but can you see the problem if someone is greedy and mean?”
“Like Will?” she squeals. “He probably won’t let me and you eat because he’ll keep the forks forever.”
“True, but let’s think about it.” Susanna joins with a wry voice, as if she’s superior. “We can make a rule saying he has to let go after a certain time.”
“What’s to prevent him from picking both forks up as soon as he lets them go?” Abbie asks.
Oh, this chick is smart. I like it.
Someone taps me from the back seat. It’s Macy. “Are you guys nerding out up there?”
“I’m not nerding out,” Abbie says. “I want to tell Santa the answer so he’ll think I’m the smartest girl.”
“You already are the smartest girl,” Susanna says.
“No, I’m not,” Abbie retorts, nudging me. “Sammie’s smarter than me. Mom says she has more points than me.”
“Points? Do you mean IQ points? I’m sure yours is higher than mine.” I pat her hand. “Besides, you’re younger than me, so your denominator is smaller.”
“Which means a bigger number!” She raises her hand excitedly. “I want Santa to like me best.”
“I’m sure Santa likes all the little children,” Riley says. She twirls her finger around Abbie’s curls. “You don’t have to worry.”
“Mom says real life isn’t about everyone winning.” Abbie crosses her arms and shakes her head resolutely. “Look at the philosophers. Some get to eat and others don’t.”
“Not if we structure the rules fairly,” I remind her. “There are all sorts of schemes. We could have a ticket system where a philosopher who hasn’t eaten has priority to grab a fork over one who just ate. Or we can have a time-out room, where one who ate has to go to the bathroom for a period of time.”
“See how smart she is?” Abbie whines. “She’s going to be the winner and get the Christmas Cottage.”
“Win what?” I ask, but Macy and Riley shrug, and the two policemen chuckle.
“Abbie, you must have heard wrong,” Susanna says quickly. “Santa gives gifts to all the good children, even if they don’t do their math problems.”
She sounds like she’s trying to shut Abbie up, but the little girl is as stubborn as I am. She has to be to excel in math despite the stereotypes.
“Mom wants me to win the Elfprentice Contest, and that means Poppy has to give me the most points for being the smartest and nicest elf.”
“Then you shouldn’t let anyone know,” Susanna whispers a little too loudly in Abbie’s ear. “That’s not very smart.”
I’m clueless about any contest Poppy is running, but I used to watchThe Apprenticeshow. Mom loved it because it shows how to run a business. After each project, a person would get fired.
“No one’s told me about any contest, so don’t worry about it.” I rub Abbie’s back. “I’ll still help you do the Rubik’s cube, but let me tell you a secret. Poppy loves all the children in the world, because he’s really Santa.”
“I know!” Her eyes light bright. “We’re so lucky because we’re the ones Santa lives with. But this year he’s sick. Does that mean the children won’t get their presents?”
“I’m sure Santa has a plan,” Susanna says. “It’s Christmas Eve, and he has a lot to do. When we get home, let’s give him a quick kiss and go to sleep.”
“Does Santa get superpowers on Christmas Eve?” Abbie’s face comes to life with the new possibility.
“Yes, he does,” Susanna reassures her. “And he has enough love for every little girl and boy.”
But not for con men and con women,I finish the thought.
