“Keep them away from the front of the house,” Riley yelled to Josie and Brian.
“On it,” Josie said.
“Good work, Thorn. Let’s go.” Nick gripped her wrist and pulled her toward the front door as he unholstered his gun.
Neither one of them was prepared for what they found on the front porch.
A woman dressed like the guy fromV for Vendettawas fighting her way out of a comically large net near the gigantic trick or treat bowl, using swear words even Nick had never heard before. Mrs. Penny’s security guards were pissing in the hedgerow along the driveway, oblivious to the chaos on the porch.
It would have been funny had the ensnared woman not been pointing a gun at Sesame and Jasmine.
“So that’s Lurlene,” Riley said as she clung to Nick’s back.
“Yeah. Thanks for clearing that up, Thorn,” he said.
“I’m not letting you ruin this deal,” Lurlene howled with a distinct twang.
Sesame stomped her sparkly high heel on the porch. “News flash, Lurlene, it’s already ruined. Nobody wants a man with an erection and a hyena laugh!”
“Psst! Jas! Did you do that thing I asked you to do?” Riley hissed.
“We tried, but the car was empty,” Jasmine said, still holding up her hands and glaring daggers at Lurlene. “Then this crazy bitch pulled a gun on us.”
“She and Sesame tried to lure the cops over here,” Riley whispered to Nick.
“Let’s hope they’re already here, and it wasn’t just a decoy car to piss me off.”
“A decoy car?” she croaked.
Lurlene took offense to Jasmine’s assessment. “I amnotcrazy! I am a future billionaire, thank you very much. And what the hell areyoudoing here?” She turned to aim her gun at Riley. “You’re supposed to be in the closet, taped up.”
“There was a situation with a parolee,” Riley explained.
“What?” Nick snapped.
“We’ll talk later,” she promised, patting his arm.
She was right. He had all the time in the world to yell at Riley while they had sex after he neutralized the twangy wannabe billionaire.
“Listen, lady. You better move that gun real fast because this is my birthday party, and if you try to shootmywoman or any of her friends, I’m going to put so many holes in you, the coroner won’t know your front from your back,” Nick snarled.
“Burn!” Sesame cheered.
“Andthat’show you drop a badass line,” Jasmine said, applauding with her hands over her head.
Out of the corner of his eye, Nick saw Kellen inching closer to the porch through the yard.
Lurlene finally freed herself from the net and kicked it out of her way.
“Hey, yo. Trick or treat or whatever,” said a teenager wearing a tiger-striped onesie and holding a liquor-store bag full of candy.
Lurlene swung her gun around and spotted Kellen in the shadows. “Trying to sneak up on me? You’ll never get the drop on me! I shot my first gator when I was four.”
“Whoa! Crazy costume. You got any full-sized candy bars?” the kid asked.
Nick picked up a can of cranberry sauce from the trick or treat bowl and winged it at him for ruining the element of surprise. “Get the fuck off my lawn!”
Kellen collared the kid and dragged him away from the porch.
