Trixie takes me by the hand and gives me a tug until I’m facing her completely. Her violet eyes bear hard into mine. Trixie has the most exotic looking eyes of any human I know. Rush is fortunate that he’ll get to gaze into them for the rest of his life. I guess in that sense Trixie is sort of a sister,too.
“I know you love Serena.” She shakes her head. “And I know that when you love someone so much they can get on your last nerve. I feel that friction between the two of you lately, and I didn’t want that for you right now.” Her eyes graze my midsection. “Who did this to you? No offense, Sunday, but this isn’t like you. Did someone hurtyou?”
“No,God, no.” I shudder. “I swear it was consensual. I was sort of looking to do itactually.”
Her mouth falls open. “You wanted to have a baby?” She practically mouths that lastword.
“No, no, that’s not what I meant. I wanted to have a good time. You know, just that one night—certainly not for the next eighteen years.” Trixie was apprised of what I was looking to do that fated night, but when I came home that next morning, she wasn’t there. And I made every effort to play it off like it never happened. I glance to the door. As much as I hate to do this, I can’t seem to help myself. “No one knows this, not even Seth.” I lean against the seat and look at Trix. “And if you tell my brother any of this, I will murder you in your sleep. You do realize that I am more thancapable.”
“You’ll hate prison. You’re too pretty to besafe.”
“I’ll claim insanity. Trust me, these hormones qualify for at least twelve differentpsychoses.”
“Fair enough. Rush is in the dark. Now spillit.”
And I do. I tell her all about the frat party, about stalking Eli all night, about the beer pong with Seth, and that blur of a wrestling match I had on the mattress with Eli in which I blindly gifted him myvirginity.
“So that’s it. I decided to walk on the wild side, and I ended up with a bonushuman.”
“I knew it was a lousy idea. And how did you manage to keep this from me for so long? God, are you going to tell him? I mean, he’s going to be a dad.” Trixie’s breathing is labored as if she were about to become a parentherself.
“Yes, I’m going to tell him. He’ll hate me if I keep this from him for too long. Seth’s been real nice about everything. He’s making sure I take my vitamins. He even went to my first appointment with me.” I chew on the inside of my cheek so hard I half-expect a tooth to poke through to the other side. “I’m in love with him, Trix. And I’m having another man’s baby. Serena and I have jumped the rails, and I’d give anything to talk to my mother again. How is this my life? It’s like I’m living in some sick soap opera.” My voice is hoarse as I push the words past the baby-sized boulder in mythroat.
“Come here.” She pulls me into a nice long hug. “I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time.” She pulls back with her eyes glittering a watery lavender. “And I totally respect the fact you’re not ready to share this with your brothers, but you’re showing. Soon you’re not going to have to say a word. The whole world is going to know. I say you rip this bandage off before someone rips it off for you—and by someone, I mean your bloomingbelly.”
“I know.” A hot tear falls over my arm, and I’m quick to wipe my face down. “But I think I owe it to Eli to tell him first.” I take in a ragged breath. “He seems like a decent guy. I don’t think he’ll flipout.”
“Pass out is more like it. You want me to do it with you?” She winces as if the idea petrified her, and ironically nothing petrifiesTrixie.
“No, I’m sure Seth will do it with me. In fact, I’ll ask him. You’re right. It’s time to rip off this bandage and tell Eli he’s about to be afather.”
Her chest bounces with a silent laugh, the horror on her face morphing to joy. “I can’t believe you’re going to be a mom. You’ll totally be the young hip mom that all the other moms talk shitabout.”
“I’m pretty sure everyone with a mouth will be talking about me soon enough.” The thought alone makes me want to vomit. “You know I was never someone anyone cared too much about. That’s partly why I magnetized to vlogging—to be seen, heard. And now it feels as if I’m going to be seen and heard for all the wrong reasons. I feel like I’ve let everyone down, my viewers, my friends, my family for sure. And poor Eli. He had no idea what bad news I would pan out tobe.”
Her lip curls up in a snarl at the mention of his name. “Has he said anything to you? About thatnight?”
“Are you kidding? I was probably one of many. I doubt he remembers. It was all sort of a haze. The booze was flowing. Unfortunately, the condoms werenot.”
“Huh, that’s strange. I didn’t really think Eli was such a player. I thought it was all a lot of talk. Your brother—now that’s another story. He was the realdeal.”
“I guess it doesn’t matter either way. Here we are.” I wrap my hands over mybelly.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. It’s practically the universal sign for baby on board. I especially wouldn’t do that around your brother. Rush is going to grab the nearest machete and slash his way to poor Eli Gates. There will be a body count, I can assure you of that.” She tips her head to the side. “I sort of saw you and Baker coming, though. I knew you were a couple before youdid.”
“Oh, we’re not a couple. That whole boyfriend thing was a bit blown up. We’re just, you know, unofficiallyofficial.”
“Well, make it official. I think you deserve at least one great thing to go yourway.”
“Agree.” I let out a groan that sounds like a bear on fire. “But there’s no way I’m even bringing it up. I’m a charity case. A charity case who happens to owe a charity a hell of a lot ofmoney.”
She wrinkles her nose at the thought. “Seth brought up some pretty cool ideas to the media club. Has he run any of it pastyou?”
“No, what is it?” My heart thumps with the hope of at least having one thing go right for achange.
“Never mind. He probably just wants to see if it’ll pan outfirst.”
“I can tell you right now if I’m attached to it in any way it’s a full-on bust. I don’t need to hear it. It’s dead in the water.” I push my coffee away. “And as soon as I tell my brothers my news, so amI.”
