After a few catatonic moments, I gather up mypurse.
“I’m taking off,” I announce as I stand to leave. “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. It’s time to grab life by the horns and lead it in the direction I want to go in for a change. Sure, it backfired spectacularly when I did it the first time, but what’s the worst that can happen when the worst has already happened? I have to get going. I’ve already knocked out the first two things on my to-do list, and it’s time to knock out numberthree.”
“What’s number three?” she shouts afterme.
“You don’t want to know.” It’s about time I go after what I really want, and what I really want is just the right person to extinguish this fire blazing between mythighs.
* * *
Later that evening,after a quickie vlog and quickie shower, I’m hoping it’s three for three, one morequickieto make my day complete. Face it, soon enough I’ll be unbeddable and, as it stands, I’m ninety-nine percent there. I just can’t take this feeling of lust and yearning for another moment. It’s perfectly unnatural. And sadly for Seth, the only one I’m lusting after and yearning for is him. Although if Eli caves, he totally wins. I might be in love with Seth, but I wouldn’t want to put the poor guy through thehorror.
If all the basketball players are prone to head to the Black Bear after practice, then that’s where I want to be. I donned the maternity jeans Izzy gave me—Izzy, who has been nothing but a lifesaver, actually dropped a bag of clothes off at my dorm a few days ago. She’s so huge it’s terrifying, but I let her know she’s just as cute as ever. Which is totally untrue, but what was I going to say? Damn, girl, you’ve morphed into Momzilla! Did you swallow the space station? Do theymakeunderwear in your size? And thanks to Izzy I now know the answer to that last one. Yes, in fact, they do. She purchased me my very own pack of granny panties because she was certain that I wouldn’t bother. She assured me there’s not a thong known to man worth the time to excavate at her stage in the game, so granny panties it is. But I digress, my cute maternity skinny jeans—a total oxymoron—have paired nicely with the black quasi-fitted tunic with the keyhole opening just below the neck, and yet baggy enough for people to assume I have nothing more than a muffin top to hide. It’s all foreign to me. Life has become foreign to me. Another girl’s clothes—heck, this might as well be another girl’s body. I wish itwas.
I head straight to the Black Bear, and no sooner do I step inside than the scent of fresh grilled burgers assaults my senses. A dull moan works its way up my throat as my stomach begins to churn. My stomach has become an insatiable beast that can no more be satisfied than a wildfire set to devour acres of delicious forestland. I head over to an empty booth while waving to Serena from across the room and she lifts afinger.
Soon enough the room floods with the gods of the Mustang Dome, and everyone with ovaries is on high alert. My entire body piques with excitement. My heart drums straight into my ears at the prospect of having all of my carnal dreams come true tonight—we’re trying this again and in a lucid state. Dr. Green said sex was S-A-F-E and I fully believe him. Unlike Seth, I’m not convinced Dr. Green got his degree from a Cracker Jack box. He’s Izzy’s doctor and Misty’s, too. I’m pretty sure he’s not going to purposefully put my baby or me in harm’s way. Besides, I’ve done some research myself, and it turns out orgasmic activity—the article’s verbiage, not mine—is actually good for an expectant mother in her first trimester. It helps further implant the embryo—and even though I’m far beyond the embryo phase of the body building game, that article gave me an inch and I’m taking a sexual mile. And as a loving mother, I plan on doing what’s best for my child. Startingtonight.
Among the crowned deities, Eli enters the bar with all the sexual magnetism the female population has grown to expect from him, so of course without thinking I flag him over. And wouldn’t you know it, I feel just as foolish as I did the first timearound.
“What’s up?” He hovers above me with those broad shoulders, those cut features and marbled eyes, and I try to envision a miniature version of him running around—only in my fantasy the kid morphs into a tiny version of Seth. Totally adorable—totally breaks my heart at the sametime.
As giddy as I am to get the party in my pants started, I can’t seem to offer him a seat. “Um, did youwin?”
His brows pinch together as he inspects me with what appears to be mild concern. More than I’ve ever feared being the pregnant girl in school, I far more fear people secretly thinking I’m insane. And now I get to watch both of my worst nightmares unfold before my very eyes. When I dismantle my life, I not only knock the walls out, but I set fire to the curtains,too.
“I guess?” He shakes his head. “It was practice, so we always win.” He gives a little wink, and that single ocular motion puts me at ease. “Are you herealone?”
“Yes, actually, I am.” Liar, liar, granny panties on fire! Technically, I am never alone, but I’m not ready to spring that tidbit on good ol’ baby daddy just yet. “You want to join me? I bet I can out eat you on the grande nachos. You up for a cheesy challenge? Or are you too big of a sissy to even try?” I force my throatiest voice on him in hopes he can overlook the fact I’m bloated and my hair hangs like spaghetti, and that I just inadvertently hinted at the fact I might think he’s a sissy. I never said I was an expert on the fine art ofseduction.
“It sounds like you need a glass of water.” A slow spreading grin takes over his face as he sits down across from me. “And it sounds like you’reon.”
Serena is kind enough to furnish us with the largest platter of nachos known to man, all the while pointing to Eli behind his back with her jaw to the floor as if trying to assess my child’s paternity right here in the Black Bear. Of course, I shake my head at her—not because he doesn’t fit the DNA bill, but because I’m not up for answering such life-hijacking questions at themoment.
Eli and I indulge in the hearty meal and not much else. It turns out Eli and I don’t have a whole lot in common. For instance, I’m knocked up, and he’s not. I’m not into macroeconomics, and he very much finds the science behind it quite intriguing. I’m very much into Seth, and he’s not Seth by a long shot. It turns out, baby daddy is an all-around nice guy who will bore our child to tears with the driest concepts known to man and finance. He’s kindhearted, smart, and caring—three stellar attributes to have in a father, but he’s still lacking in one department. He’s not Seth. How could I have run out and mated with the first man I saw? What was so important about sleeping around? Losing something as precious as my virginity to someone who doesn’t even seem to remember our time together as much as Ido?
We’re just about through with our meal—I’m winning by the way—when Seth breezes in, and my heart kick-starts to life. There he is, so alarmingly handsome that sweet spot between my thighs starts convulsing without even having him near me. I’m pretty sure Seth has just cured my hormonal dilemma, and I didn’t even have to set foot near amattress.
He heads over, and that perennially content look on his face melts likesnow.
“What’s going on?” He gives Eli a hard look. It’s really sort of sweet. Seth is protective over me. I get it. Plus, he knows that Eli is still in the dark about his paternity. I think maybe he wants to be around when I tell him. Hey? Maybe now is a good time? Ripping off the bandage and all that good stuff, which will eventually land me in a psychiatric unit somewhere burying my head under apillow.
Eli inches his head back, his own affect growing dark. “Just hanging out. You got a problem withthat?”
“Hell yeah, I got a problem with that.” Seth steps in like a dare, and that male prone gorilla-like rage puffs up hischest.
“Seth,” I squeak without meaning to. “I was just about to tell Eli about some of the adventures we’ve had. You know, like the ones that led toLittle Fish?” I swallow hard because as much as the logical side of me wants to delve into biology and the promise of child support checks, the emotional, irrational, completely idiotic part of me that landed my body in this predicament to begin with screamsdon’t doit.
“What?Now?” Seth looks affronted and simultaneously terrified for me. Poor guy really is internalizing this whole situation way more than he has to. He’s practically ahero.
“What are you talking about?” Eli looks from Seth tome.
“Nothing!” Seth and I say in unison, then share a laugh because great minds and all that good stuff. I think as much as I need to tell Eli, I should probably come up with a better scenario than a bar. In the least I should take him to the library and sit him down in front of the parenting section. Couple that with my blooming baby bump and he might actually catch on before I open mymouth.
“All right.” Eli stands. “I’m taking off.” He drops a fifty on the table before nodding to me. “You may have won this time, but I say we go best out of three. Watch out because I’m about to up my jalapeñogame.” He takes off, and Seth glares his way long after he’sgone.
He slaps the back of his head and gives his neck a quick scratch. “Sorry aboutthat.”
“You think you’re sorry now. Just wait until you see what your punishment willbe.”
