I force myself to move. The car door slams, too loud in the quiet neighborhood, and for a second, I just stand there, my breaths coming too quickly. My legs feel like they belong to someone else as I walk to the door. I press the bell and wait, my heart pounding in my throat.
Footsteps. Then the familiar sound of the lock turning.
My dad—no, not my dad—opens the door in his golf attire, like it’s any other Saturday. The faint smell of sunscreen andaftershave hits me, and I wonder if he and Mom spent the day at the club, laughing, pretending everything was normal.
The sight of him twists my stomach. The man who raised me. The man who tucked me in at night and told me monsters weren’t real.
“Jessie? You okay, sweetheart?”
I swallow hard, my voice catching before I can stop it. “No. Not even close.”
I step inside, not willing to kick off my shoes, despite knowing my mother would prefer it. I need the possibility of a fast escape.
“What’s wrong? Is it Walker?” he asks in his soothing voice.
I laugh bitterly. “I guess you can say that’s part of it. Is Mother here? I need to speak with both of you.”
He appears slightly on edge. “Sure, sweetie. Why don’t you go make yourself comfortable in the family room? I’ll go get her.”
I wait for what feels like an eternity before they both join me. They sit on the couch directly across from me.
“Hello, dear. This is quite a surprise,” Mother says cautiously.
I fold my hands on my lap, cross my legs, then uncross them. I can’t stay still. My hands move to my hair and tuck it behind my ears several times.
“I’m sure it is,” I reply coldly.
They both sit in silence and watch me fidget in my seat. Dad’s eyes look me up and down, then close. He knows I know. I see the defeat in his posture.
“I know,” I blurt, aware of the tremor in my voice.
Mother is clueless. Her puzzled look quickly becomes one of irritation as she waits for me to continue.
“How did you find out?” he asks.
His quiet admission tears at my insides.
“So, it’s true?”
Mother’s eyes squint as she looks between us. “Find out what? What on earth is going on?”
Dad sighs. “Meredith, she knows.”
Her eyes blaze with sudden shock. She corrects her posture, like she’s on the defense now, then turns her head back to me. “How could you possibly …” She trails off.
I imagine this is a secret that only the two of them know. She never thought it would see the light of day.
“Walker overheard you two arguing at my graduation party.” My eyes meet Dad’s as tears begin to fall. “You’re really not my dad?”
He makes a choked sound, and then his face falls into his hands. I’ve never seen him cry before. It just makes me cry harder, makes the weight on my chest feel heavier.
“It’s not what you think …” Mother starts, but Dad pulls his head up and cranes his neck.
“Enough, Meredith. No more excuses. We lied to her. Don’t try to defend it.”
“I’m not going to sit here and look like the devil while you cry and play victim. That’s not fair to me. If the truth is out, I get to speak.”
“What are you two talking about?” I wipe my cheeks.
