“What the hell are you doing?”
“I don’t know. Some belly-breathing thing that we did in yoga. Eva made me go one time. Told me it would help with my stress at work.”
“Ugh, yoga.”
He opens his eyes and looks at me curiously. “Don’t like yoga?”
“I like yoga just fine. Hot yoga, which Eva dragged me to the other day? That’s another story. I hate hot yoga more than I hate you.”
“Wow.” He chuckles to himself. “That’s a pretty high standard it had to beat. I feel honored to have fallen from number one on your list. Thank you, hot yoga.”
I try not to smile, but I know the smirk is written all over my face. He smiles back at me, and there’s a pause as we seem to lose ourselves in a moment where all walls have been dropped.
Then Eli fusses in my arms. It breaks the spell and reminds me how easy it can be to forget why I don’t like him.
I stand from the couch now that he is a bit calmer, then hand him Eli. “Here you go. I’ll be back before six.”
I don’t wait for a reply. Instead, I grab my purse and march out the door, desperate for fresh air. The moment I hit the streets, I feel like I can breathe again.
This is dangerous. I shouldn’t be doing this. It’s already messing with my head. I should text him now and tell him the deal’s off. I don’t need that shopping spree, though I would love to spend hismoney. Being a family lawyer who does a lot of pro bono work doesn’t pay very well.
But I’m comfortable. I can afford a decent place in the city and live a modest life while helping those who don’t have the money to help themselves. It works for me. But it doesn’t leave room for an amazing wardrobe.
I want to back out … and yet I know I won’t. I’m weak. I have a soft spot for him. I care too much about him to leave him high and dry. That’s the unfortunate reality of the predicament I find myself in.
Luckily, I have an amazing boss. Lorain was very understanding when I told her I had some personal matters to attend to this week. I told her I would do as much work as I could from home—that being Walker’s home.
I know I can’t tell Eva the news, but I need somebody to talk to. The only other person I can think of is my dad. He’s always the sound of reason in my life. Someone who can smooth out the rough edges that shape me.
As I pack a suitcase to have at Walker’s I pick up my phone and dial his number.
He answers on the first ring, like usual.
“Hey, Jessie girl. I’ve been thinking about you,” he says cheerfully.
I chuckle. “You always say that when I call.”
“What can I say? I think of you often.”
His response warms my heart. “Aw, I don’t believe you, but I appreciate it nonetheless.”
He laughs. “How’ve you been? I’ve been wondering when my favorite daughter was gonna come home to visit next.”
“I know; I know. I’ll definitely be home for the holidays, Dad.”
“It’d be nice to see you before then.”
I sigh. I know I need to go home more often, if only to see him. Whenever I think about going home though, I hear my mother’s incessant judgments about how I choose to live my life.
“I’ll try,” I reply to soothe him for the time being. “But I actually was calling because I need to vent.”
His tone shifts to one of concern. “Something wrong, sweetie?”
“I’m fine. It’s just … I’m helping a friend out with something. It’s big … and I promised to keep it from Eva until he was ready. But it’s a lot.”
“What could you possibly need to keep from Eva? Who’s asking you to do this?”
“Walker,” I bite out with frustration.
