I huff at his word choice. That doesn’t begin to describe it.
“But I’m begging you … please help me get through this. I’ll put pillows in between us. I just … I can’t do this alone tonight. I need you.”
Beat me over the head. What a guilt trip. Watching the man I’ve secretly longed for saying this to me while snuggling his baby girl on his chest? It’s really not fair.
“Ugh, fine. Just for tonight.” I point a finger at him, hoping to drive home how serious I am.
I can’t do this longer than one night. I may hate the guy, but he’s still stupidly attractive. Lines can get blurred pretty damn fast.
I walk him through how to swaddle Eli. She is totally conked out, not budging at all throughout the process. I hope this is a good sign for how long of a stretch she’ll sleep tonight.
Walker placed the pack and play right next to his side of the bed. He climbs in next to her. I walk over to the other side, my heart feeling like it’s going to beat out of my chest.
I crawl under the covers, lying on my back, mirroring Walker’s position next to me. We both lie in silence.
I wonder what he’s thinking about. Is the idea of sleeping next to me even something that gives him pause?
Who am I kidding? He made his feelings clear that night. This isn’t affecting him in the slightest. That’s why I have to guard my heart.
I may be willing to give him my time, but I’ll never give him the chance to hurt me. Not like last time.
Chapter Six
Walker
Ifeel like I got punched in the face. What the hell happened last night? Eli woke up, like, seven times. Each time—whether it was changing her, feeding her, trying to soothe her—it took forever to get her back to sleep.
I doubt I got more than three hours of sleep.
This is the second cup of coffee I’ve pounded in the last hour, and it’s still not even six. I need another spot to put her in the morning. I’ve been holding her on the couch for an hour, terrified to wake her up.
Jessie is still sleeping in my bed. She punched me in the arm around four when I begged her to help again. I’m just so much calmer when she’s with me, even if she’s not doing anything. But I want her to get some sleep, so I’m not gonna wake her.
I tossed and turned for a while last night. Between having my daughter to my left and Jessie on my right, my brain was full of distractions.
You would think the punches and curse words she shells out to me, and me alone, would make me sour toward her. But, damn,they make my dick hard. What I would give to punish her for all the times she’s come at me. A delicious punishment that would end with my cum all over her body.
Fuck. I need to stop it. This is why it took me so long to fall asleep.
Now that I managed to make it through my first night, I have another dilemma to tackle today. Who is going to watch Eli during my court appearance this morning?
My eyes immediately look at the door to my bedroom. Jessie is my only hope. If not, I have to ask Eva. I don’t want to put two babies on her plate. But I can’t miss it. It’s the initial conference for my breach of contract suit. The judge will set timelines for everyone, and this judge doesn’t take kindly to not respecting his time.
Getting on his bad side this early could be devastating.
I place the empty cup of coffee down on the coffee table and scoot back on the couch. I could probably have a dozen coffees and still feel tired. Eli snuggles closer to me, and my heart skips a beat. It felt like an intentional move to get closer to me. My daughter—taking comfort in me.
This is the first time I’ve had a moment to myself with her, without crying or panic at the forefront of my brain. It’s an overwhelming feeling.
Am I going to be a good dad? Am I going to do this … for real? Try to be a single dad?
It seems impossible. Not with my career.
But I do have a lot of money. I just need to find a good nanny. I could make it work.
Ishouldmake it work. She already had a mother give up on her.
I take a deep, shaky breath as I realize I’ve just made my decision. I’m going to keep her. I’m going to raise her.
