“We could have been trapped in limbo for years.”
He gathered her closer, kissing her forehead.
“As long as I got to hold you, kiss you, make love to you…it would have been a vast improvement over not having you at all. But I knew you were too smart and brave for that. And I know you love me. The same way I love you. We are married, Alice. For life. I’m fully committed to this marriage. To making it work. Because the alternative… Well, I already suffered through the alternative, and it’s unbearable.”
Her heart hammered, and she could not look away from him, even as she whispered, “And if I told you that I felt like an impostor walking into that ballroom. Did you see the stares? Hear the whispers? Everyone knows I don’t belong here.”
Nathaniel studied her through half lidded eyes, a small smile playing on his mouth.
“I agree. Belong is not really the word I would use.”
Damnation. Did he have to be so bloody honest? “I wasn’t looking for your agreement.” She snapped back.
His smile widened. “I wouldn’t say you belong because that implies that you blend in. You conform. Youruledthat ballroom, Alice. You outshined every lady in there. You captured the eyes of every man when you made your grand entrance. You were bloody magnificent.”
“It won’t all be plain sailing.” She fretted with his necktie, lowering her eyes. “I will make many mistakes as a viscountess.”
“Of course you will.”
Her head snapped up.
He smiled at her. “It is perfectly fine to make mistakes, Alice. I’ve made many since I assumed the title, and I’m sure I will make more. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be my wife, my partner.”
“But your mother… She won’t make it any easier. She already despises me, thinks I’m not good enough—”
“I’m not too sure that my mother despises you as much as you think. She can be a bit caustic and set in her ways, but she found a way to make you come back to me.”
She snorted. “Yes, but that was not her intention. Left to her, she would have you married to another lady within a year. She was happy that I didn’t want to come back!”
Nathaniel chuckled. “She’s more wily than I gave her credit for. The more I think about it, the more I believe she was trying to get a reaction out of you.”
Alice disentangled herself from Nathaniel’s arms. Placing her hands on her hips, she narrowed her eyes at him. “Are you saying your mother manipulated me?”
His unshakable grin was irritating in the extreme. “I’m afraid so, love.”
“I don’t believe it.”
“Time will tell. Either way, you don’t have to deal with her if you so choose. I have arranged for my mother to settle in the dower house and for my sister-in-law to establish her own household. When you return to Greystone, you will be its only mistress.”
Her mouth gaped open. “You evicted your mother and sister-in-law from their home? Because of me? Oh, Nathaniel, they are sure to hate me now!”
“Not at all. My sister-in-law is actually happy to be independent. And after some initial resistance, my mother also accepted the wisdom of the arrangement. What I’m trying to say is, you will have free rein to do as you please. There won’t be anyone looking over your shoulder, criticizing you, undermining you. Only me, supporting you.”
“You have that much faith in me?” A burning sensation started at the back of her eyes, and she blinked, trying to preempt the tears.
“I have absolute faith in you. You are the most competent, the most extraordinary woman I know, Alice. I have no doubt you will succeed.”
“And you did this before you knew if I would come around.”
“No. I always knew you’d come around. What I didn’t know was how or when. But I had hoped that making space for you would convince you to return sooner.”
“You have more faith in me than I do.”
He came over to her and grasped her hands. “Why, Alice? Why are you so afraid of performing a role many ladies with a fraction of your intellect perform easily?”
“Because I’m not a lady. I’m an impostor. I can play at anything for a short period of time. But I am not any of those things. I don’t know who I am.”
Nathaniel frowned, looking down at her. “I never knew you felt that way. You are usually so confident, so assertive and decisive. So capable.”
