“God, no. I have not sought any kind of relationship. Since Eloise’s death, I have forsworn sex. I never intended to marry again.”
CHAPTER 35 - Foreplay
THE MAGNITUDE OF WHAThe had revealed struck her to the core. He had given up sex altogether, and he never intended to marry again. Yet he had proposed marriage to her and obviously desired her.
“Don’t you think that is a little extreme? ‘Never’ is a very long time.” She countered, shocked.
“Maybe. But I also saw the wreckage of my parent’s marriage because of my father’s promiscuous tendencies. My own relationship with my mother soured because of how much I turned out to be like my father. She despised him ever since I can remember. When I was little, she sometimes expressed affection for me. But when I turned thirteen, my father took me to my first brothel, and I started down his path. I could see the disgust on my mother’s face every time she looked at me.
“I became yet another point of contention between my parents. He accused her of trying to turn me into a ‘molly boy,’ and she accused him of turning me into a disgusting lecher like himself. Apparently, she was right. After that, the only thing I ever did of which she approved was marrying Eloise. But then, after what happened, and Eloise’s death, she never spoke to me again. She died two years ago and didn’t want me by her side even then.”
Oh, my god. How horrible. Even though he had warned her to stay away, she was unable to do so. He might consider himself a ‘disgusting lecher’ as he had put it, but she had seen nothing but an honorable man with a healthy sexual appetite. Led astray by his father while still a child, then rejected by his own mother, and later his wife, no wonder he carried a mountain of guilt.
He still sat on the piano bench, but had turned sideways to face her, so she walked right up between his spread legs, within touching distance, but not touching. She could feel the heat radiating off his body. He didn’t move away, but neither did he pull her closer. His fists clenched where they rested on his thighs.
“Let’s do something,” she said. “Tell me what you like, and I will be honest. If there’s something I don’t like, I will speak up. No hysterics. I liked what you were doing before. I think you know that. So at least we have a starting point.”
He wiggled a few inches backward, putting space, small as it was, between their bodies. He would not meet her eyes with his own.
Since he was not comfortable enough to talk, she would. “Okay, I will ask you straight out, starting with the most outrageous. Are you into orgies, weird rituals, sex with animals, children, or corpses?”
His gaze flew to hers in shock. “What?! No!”
“Ok, good. Those would have been deal breakers for me. How about with men?”
He flinched, reddened, and his brows drew together as he prepared to speak.
She held up a hand to silence him before he uttered a word. “That’s perfectly acceptable in my time. I don’t think you swing that way, but there are people who are bisexual, and while I may not judge, I prefer a man who is only interested in women.”
“You have altogether too much naughty information in your mind, Olivia. I’m afraid of what may come out of your mouth next. I assure you, I have always only been sexually interested in women.”
“Excellent! So far, we are off to a good start,” she said with a cheeky smile.
“This is not a joking matter, Olivia.”
“Of course not,” she answered, sobering a little. “If I take a light tone, it is to make it easier to communicate. But I realize this is a delicate subject. Next, are you into bondage, sadism, punishment, that kind of stuff? You mentioned you had played with ties.”
