“I’m sorry if the music woke you. I didn’t think it would reach all the way to your bedroom.”
“It doesn’t. It didn’t. More is the shame. I came down to look for a book because I couldn’t sleep and heard it. That was... extraordinary.”
He shrugged, and the corner of his mouth hooked up in a shy grin as his gaze skittered away from hers. “Thank you. I’m no brilliant pianist, but this is one of my favorite pieces.”
“I disagree. I think you are very good. Moonlight Sonata is one of my favorite pieces as well. But I had never heard it played with so much passion. I have goosebumps.'' She ran her hands over her arms.
She had moved closer as they talked. Now she stood almost within arm’s reach, leaning casually against the piano. He watched her hands.
“I wouldn’t move any closer if I were you,” he said.
The way he said it, his eyes dark and desire evident in every line of his body, sent a shiver of anticipation down her spine. She wanted to move closer, much closer.
“Why?” Olivia asked, and her voice sounded breathless.
He narrowed his eyes, not fooled by her challenge. “Because, Olivia, I want to make love to you. I want to tear up your nightclothes and take you right here and now, like a barbarian.”
Oh, yes, please. “Alright then.” Her response was breathless. Her heart had sped up at his impassioned declaration.
“No. I’ve wanted to do that since you showed up in my life, and I’ve been able to restrain myself. But you saw what happened earlier in the library. Now you are here again, alone with me. I’m afraid I will lose control and do something we might both regret.”
“Why would we regret it, Dale?”
“I would if you did.”
“Surely you know I wanted that kiss as much as you did.”
“Passion and sex have wreaked havoc in my life before.”
“Yes, they can have destructive powers. But I am not her. I will not run away.”
“You have nowhere to run. In some ways, you are even more vulnerable than Eloise. Maybe you won’t want to. I keep hoping it will be different. But what if I’m selfishly deluding myself just because I want you? What if you find my touch distressing, too?”
“Why would I find it distressing? I have enjoyed myself in your arms before. I know where that leads, and I’ve never found it distressing.” She came back to what she had asked him before. “Unless you have some unusual preferences?”
“That is the thing. I don’t know if my preferences are unusual... or exaggerated. Especially for someone like you. I don’t know what is ‘normal’ in my time, let alone in yours.”
“I see. Well, the sexual standards and what is considered ‘normal’ have relaxed since your century. I am not the most experienced person since I married young and have only had one sexual partner, which, by the way, is highly unusual in my time. But even I am aware of all kinds of preferences and inclinations. But why do you say you don’t know what is ‘normal’ even in your time? You said you sowed wild oats. Does that not include, well, gaining sexual experience?”
“I have sexual experience. But all of my experience before my marriage was with courtesans.”
She tilted her head at the unfamiliar word.
“Prostitutes,” he clarified.
Her eyes widened in amazement.
“I had great fun,” he admitted, “experienced quite a bit and learned many interesting things. But considering the source of my experience, I doubt it is the way of normal people. And likely, I never received honest feedback on my performance, except from my wife. You can see how I have reason to be unsure if my inclinations are normal.”
“Oh boy.” Olivia could now see the recipe for disaster. “All your experiences apart from your wife were with prostitutes?”
He nodded.
“Why?”
He shrugged. “That was the option most readily available to me. In my society, it is unthinkable to have a sexual relationship with an unmarried lady. And I have no taste for adultery, so that also eliminated the married women. That leaves only widows. But they might have harbored expectations of marrying me to become a duchess. I was already promised to Eloise, so I thought it best not to encourage their ambitions.”
“I see. What about since Eloise’s death? It's been quite a few years. Haven’t you wanted to have a normal relationship that would lead to marriage?”
