His beautiful mouth twisted in an awful sneer. “Don’t bother to lie. Your face told the truth about your feelings.”
“That’s not true!” she cried. “I was considering the question seriously. Because my family was foremost in my mind, it had never occurred to me to think about everything else. But I considered it, gave it serious thought, and I decided I would give it all up to be with you.”
In two strides, he stood again by her side. He braced his hands on the mattress on each side of her and forced her back down.
“Lusting after my body?” He said fiercely, “I saw the way you were looking at me, and I don’t think you are thinking rationally now. I mean, do not misunderstand me, it is gratifying. I am glad to be able to at least inspire lust. And I really should thank you. It’s been fun bedding you.”
She gasped at his crudeness and the unfairness of his accusations. Rage rising in her chest as well.
“How can you say that?! What on earth have I done to...” Her voice wavered into a higher pitch, and she choked. She took a big breath, fighting for composure. “I thought you understood what was between us.”
He pushed away from her again. Turning his back. “I thought I did too.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. It doesn’t matter.” He walked over to the connecting door and disappeared into his dressing room.
Olivia simmered in a white rage like she had never felt before.
How dare he! How dare he accuse her of using him for her pleasure and then abandoning him! As if the only thing she had ever wanted from him was sex. Yes, the sex was glorious, mind numbingly amazing. But there was so much more to him. She had been falling in love with him before he had even kissed her. And it wasn’t for his male beauty, either. Looks without personality never held her attention for long. No, it was his quiet strength, his honor, his generosity. The quick intelligence and charm. How loyal and loving he was. Those were qualities that made him who he was, and that was what she loved. A gut wrenching sob escaped from her chest.
Oh God. This was so difficult. How could she ever leave him? Yet how could she stay?
CHAPTER 60 - Love hurts
WHY HAD HE LOST HIStemper so thoroughly? There was no call to say all the awful things he had said to Livvy. Self condemnation and pain were a tide pulling him under. Hadn’t he always known that she didn’t belong here and she would leave someday? But he had begun to hope that maybe she wouldn’t leave.
He had allowed himself to want more, to imagine a future together. And then these people appeared... and to hear her say so readily that she was leaving. He went a little crazy. He tried to tamp it down. Be strong and stoic for her. His logical mind understood the reasons, but his heart refused to accept reason. His heart felt trampled, betrayed, abandoned. And he had finally snapped and taken all his frustrations out on her.
What if she didn’t forgive him? What if she left while being angry...? The door banged open behind him, and Livvy stormed in. She had been crying, he could tell, even though she had tried to hide the signs of her tears. His chest was tight, there was a giant knot lodged in his throat, and his eyes were prickly, as if they were shattering from the inside. Was he crying too?
He cataloged these signs as if from outside his body. He never cried, much less in front of another person. Not since he was a child and both his parents had drilled crying out of him. It was probably the only thing they ever agreed on. Crying was a weakness, a shame, and it was unacceptable behavior for a duke.
Yet he was crying now, and he found he didn’t much care if Olivia saw. She had donned a robe and had her hair tightly pulled back in a queue. And she was angry.
“How dare you walk out on me? It is like you condemned and dismissed me without even giving me a chance to respond!”
