CHAPTER 59 - No way to win
DALE FELT GUTTED. HEhad found love, happiness, and completeness. Only for it to be snatched away. How could he ever live without her? He knew how. The same way he had lived these past seven years. In an empty void of loneliness.
But no, it wouldn’t be exactly the same. He had found nothing but acceptance in her from the moment they first kissed. She had given him his life and self respect back while banishing the ghosts of his past. He was whole again. No longer consumed by guilt and regret. Maybe he could go on in a better way... without her? No. His mind, his heart, his whole being refused to accept that.
“Dale?”
“Hmm.” He still lay atop her, still held her too tight. She must be uncomfortable. In a corner of his mind, he knew he should move, but he didn’t want to let her go.
And she didn’t seem in a hurry to get him off her. She was caressing his back, running her fingers up the line of his neck, through his hair. He could smell her. Feel her softness pillowing him. It was heaven.
“You haven’t said a word since they left.”
“I can’t say the only words I want to say. And even if I did. They would make no difference. So there’s no point in me saying anything.”
“I am sorry.” She said. “I... I don’t want to leave. But I must.”
“I know.”
“I can’t do this to my parents. They already lost a daughter, and it almost killed them. And Lana, she needs me. She—”
He kissed her because he couldn’t, didn’t want to, hear anymore. All the insurmountable reasons why she couldn’t stay. All the people whose interests must come ahead of him. Maybe that wasn’t an entirely fair assessment. He even agreed with her reasons. And that was the worst of all. He didn’t have any counter argument. He agreed.
Still, he had to say something. “I know. I know why you must go. I know all the reasons. I have no right to ask you to stay, and yet that is what I want you to do. Therefore, I better say nothing.”
He hesitated for a moment, then asked. “If it wasn’t for your family, would you want to stay here with me? Would you give up your world with all its modern technology and conveniences to live here with me?”
***
FOR A MOMENT, SHE WAStaken aback. She had never considered it that way. Her family was the one thing she knew she couldn’t abandon, so she never thought about anything else. Could she live in this century? Even with all the luxuries and comfort Dale could provide, it was not the same. No Internet, no planes, no phones, no cars. Was electricity even used yet? More importantly, medicine was not as advanced. She wasn’t sure, but she didn’t think they had even discovered microbiology yet. She could die of a simple infection that could be easily cured with antibiotics in her time. The idea momentarily terrified her.
He watched her intently and must have noticed the play of emotions on her face. An angry sort of desolation entered his gaze. He jumped out of the bed and walked towards the window.
Olivia observed him. She knew she had to say something. That she had hurt him with her silence. But the beauty of his nakedness momentarily distracted her. The late afternoon sunlight bathed his gorgeous body in golden light, displaying it for her pleasure in all its glory. She had just held that body in her arms, skin to skin. She had touched and caressed it. They had just thoroughly satisfied each other, and still her mouth went dry at the sight.
Did she want to stay? If it weren’t for all these other reasons, could she be happy with him here? She would give up a lot. Everything, really. Her career, her independence, the life she had carved for herself. But she would have him.
Her eyes roamed hungrily over his body. He stood before her, naked in both body and soul. He should have looked vulnerable, diminished somehow. Instead, he wore his hurt with pride. Unashamedly naked, arms crossed. Displaying himself, letting her look as if to taunt her with all she would be giving up by leaving.
He looked magnificent. A wounded warrior.
She gulped, finally raised her eyes to his and saw pure rage there mixing with the hurt. Like a tortured animal whose pain had turned to something vicious. She had never seen such an implacable expression in his eyes. She never wanted to see it again. Olivia realized in that moment she would give up everything to love this man. Forever.
“I would stay.”
