‘The duel will commence in the next hour,’ she said, taking my message for Cain with her. Only then did I realise I hadn’t slept.
Twenty-Six
The arena was filling with people eager to witness Visarous’s punishment. I sat there for the next hour in my special fighting leathers. They were slightly more ornate, featuring intricate designs painted in gold that matched the patterns wrapping around my sword. These leathers were reserved for moments like this, when the full weight of my position was on display.
I contemplated going into the depths of the library to look at theOracleafter everything happened, but I couldn’t face Visarous’s future or mine, too fearful that I would not have the stomach to go through with it. Besides, the thrill I experienced from fighting was part and parcel due to the uncertainty of it all. I could be a breath away from death, and with that hovering over me, I fought harder and relished the win even more.
Sienna approached me in the centre of the arena, sighing heavily in resignation. She could tell just by looking at me that every wall we had worked to tear down was now back up and reinforced. I looked at her without a drop of emotion. Gone was my ally, my advisor or my friend. She was just another person with the potential to turn on me given the right incentive. Yes, the flames had not shown me any deception when I questionedher or the others, but that was merely a moment in time. Everything could change tomorrow and the answers to those questions could be completely different.
‘Here, drink the tonic; Visarous has had his. It’s time.’ She handed me a vial filled with black liquid. It would douse our gifts, not allowing Visarous or me to tap into them; neither of us would be able to shift, and the flame within me would be muted and unreachable. Not that we would be doing much talking for me to need to know whether it was truth or lies he was spouting.
Everyone filled the arena, from the working class to members of my court, Forest Fae, Wiccans, and those merely passing through my lands; thousands came to witness this display of power. Stories would spread to every realm in this moment over the coming weeks. But immediately following what happened here today, our borders will be closed for the next week; no people, no creatures, and no messages will be allowed in or out, aside from myself. I didn’t want Sebastian to know we had caught his man; I had other plans.
Sienna braced Vivianna as they stood to my left, refusing to sit like the rest of my people, who occupied row upon row of seats on either side. I walked to the furthest edge of the oval shaped ground where our fight would take place and turned to face the door, waiting for Geraldine to bring him out. As the crowd whispered, I closed my mind off to everyone except for what I needed to do, welcoming the quiet that descended over my body and mind. I inhaled deeply, drawing my mind to why I was doing this.
I focused on my pain, allowing anger to seep into my extremities. But even with having just drunk the tonic, I didn’t trust myself or the flames, which had behaved so erratically, so I held myself just on the cusp of rage. It was a quiet, deliberate and pointed anger. Not the all-consuming fire that wanted to lurch free from my body, screaming in anguish. No, this was just enough to sharpen the bloodlust pooling within me. Allowingmyself to forget the man I had given so much of myself to, so I could see nothing but the betrayal.
Geraldine walked in, Visarous in tow. Under the light of day, he looked much worse than when I had left him in that dark and damp cell. I heard Vivianna gasp, a sob escaping her, but I paid her no mind. Geraldine pushed Visarous forward into the center of the arena before removing his bindings. He rubbed the reddened welts along his wrists taking a moment to himself before absorbing everything around him. Geraldine held out his sword. It was the sword I had gifted him when he took his place on my council. Feeling the weight of my own in my hand, I rolled my shoulders and stretched out my wrist, loosening the tension in my muscles. The arena became deathly quiet in anticipation.
‘People of Maureia, I am sure you would like to know why we are here today,’ I spoke as Sienna cast an incantation to make my voice reach even the furthest edges of the arena. Visarous still refused to look at me or anyone else, for that matter. ‘We have found a traitor in our midst. Visarous here has been working with King Sebastian and funnelling our secrets to our greatest enemy, Morgad.’ A collective gasp followed by murmurs rippled throughout the crowd. ‘As is law, we will fight to the last breath, and the spirits will guide the sword of the victor. Any last words, Visarous? Perhaps some for your sister?’
He tilted his head, assessing me; his eyes were cold and calculated in a way I had never seen before, only glimmers. As if dismissing me, he turned his gaze to Vivianna. I thought I would see a flash of something familiar as he gazed at his sister, but there was nothing. Viv stifled another sob. Our duels did not have the same fanfare as those at the Academy; there was no steady rhythm of a drumbeat. Instead, the challenged would make the first move. Without sharing any parting words, he raked his eyes over my body once more and smirked before spitting at my feet, blood mixed with his saliva.
Within a second, the man before me turned from prey topredator. He drew his sword, charging at me as it clashed against my own, allowing the reverberation of the metal blades to sing out into the open space before he stepped back. He nodded to spur me on, taunting me, but I refused to make the first move. Deciding not to wait any longer, he prepared himself to strike once more. If he wanted to walk out of this alive, he would need to do more than the bare minimum.
He charged at me, swinging his sword across the side of my body, but I could see it coming; combat had never been his strength the way it had been mine. I spun backwards, outside of his range of motion. Before he had time to react, I was already close again, kicking him squarely in the stomach. He barely moved; instead he grabbed my foot with his free hand and yanked me, sending me crashing to the floor in front of him, my knees beneath me. He raised his sword up for what could have been a killing blow. But I was far faster than he was and rolled out from under him before swinging my own across his shin. I felt it stick in his bone, and his piercing scream confirmed the pain I knew he would be feeling. Yanking my sword out of his leg, he dropped to his knees in front of me. Our eyes now level. A clear message to anyone watching—no one is above me. Try it and I will cut you down and bring you to your knees.
I could have struck the killing blow in that moment, but something was stopping me. I wanted to drag this out. I wasn’t ready to kill him. I needed to drag out his pain as repayment for the betrayal. I wanted to hurt him the way he hurt me. Not merely kill him. Death was easy. He recovered quickly and charged toward me once more not even acknowledging the pain in his leg, barely limping as though moving through sheer force of will alone. The man had always known deep control. But perhaps bloodlust was also fuelling him; he was his father’s son, after all.
Our swords met in a whirlwind of clashing and parrying. He swung; I blocked. I retaliated; he ducked to avoid me. We went back and forth like this, almost as if we were dancing a lethaldance. It felt easy, as though we were sparring again, and in that moment of comfort, I made a mistake—a second of hesitation as I lost myself in memories of when things weren’t so complicated. I was too slow in pulling my arm back as Visarous’s sword sliced toward me, my forearm taking the brunt of it. Searing pain coursed through me as the blood quickly pooled. My sword slipped from my weakened arm, clattering to the floor and sliding out of my reach.
Ducking to avoid his next blow, I cradled my arm, but he had the advantage and he knew it. He continued towards me, backing me against the edge of the arena as I dodged and dived to avoid the blade. With each diversion, I tried to inch back closer to my sword but he blocked me off at every turn.
I had never liked being backed into a corner, and I was not very accustomed to it. I dropped and rolled under him sweeping his legs out from beneath him. He dropped to one knee as his hands met the ground, preventing him from falling. I used this moment to turn back for my sword, but it was too far.
The cold piercing of metal slashed through my back; he recovered quicker than I thought he would, and I was slower than I realised due to blood loss. I dropped to the ground, awaiting the final blow from the only man I had ever come close to loving. I had tried to fool myself for so long that I was not capable of love, that what we had was not remotely the same; but even if everything had been a lie to him, I realised now, in this moment, it had all been far too real for me. I knew this fondness I felt for the man that stood before me was not love, but there was an affection there I hadn’t shared before with any other. It was too late to be admitting my emotions to myself, but that was all I could think about as I watched him stalk toward me. I pondered on whether I loved the man who now stood in front of me as he was about to kill me, but before I could register that thought deeply, Demir’s face flashed in my mind, and my chest tightened.
Visarous raised his blade, ready to strike the killing blow aswe locked eyes. His eyes were cold; his lips were smiling, mocking me.How could I be so foolish?I would not let my stupidity be the death of me.
‘Is this the image you pictured when you had me on my knees, with my lips wrapped around you all that time? Is this what gets you off, Visarous?’ I asked as he bellowed a laugh. I took that distraction to punch him right between the legs with my good arm, and as he sank to the ground, I ran for my sword. It felt good in my hand, even as the blood pooled from my forearm and dripped all the way down the tip of the blade. This blade was an extension of me, and I vowed to myself then and there that I would never let it slip from my grasp in battle again. The only way it would leave me was from my cold dead hand.
I rushed behind him drawing my sword across the backs of his heels and then again across the backs of his knees. He slumped back to the floor, bracing himself on his sword as it stabbed into the ground, propping him up.
He was finished; he could not stand after I had severed his Achilles. The fact that he was not shrieking in a fit on the floor was impressive in its own right, but as I circled around to stand before him, I could see the tension in his jaw. He was clenching so hard that even the smallest movement would cause him to scream. I think he feared the sound that would escape him if he let go.
Hate filled his eyes and the heartfelt realisations I had come to only moments prior disappeared as the bloodlust consumed me whole looking at the arrogant arsehole who had actively sought my demise. A thrill ran through my spine at the power of holding his life in my hands. I grabbed his hair and raised his chin so he was baring his neck as I stepped behind him and looked at Geraldine, Sienna, and then finally Vivianna. I held their gazes in warning as I brought my blade in front of his neck. The blood loss had made him weak and compliant. Slicing through his artery blood spurted across the ground and towards the crowed sitting nearby. The sound of him gurgling on his ownblood filled the arena. Viv sank to the floor as Sienna lost her grip on her and looked away, unable to hold my gaze any longer. They would be next if they ever even thought of betraying me.
I threw Visarous’s limp body to the ground and unfastened my fighting leathers—just enough to reveal the black mark that lay at the centre of my chest. Pulling a smaller blade from my boot, I traced a thin cut across it before dipping my fingers in the blood that was pooling from his neck. I dragged it down from my forehead, along my nose, across my lips, down my neck and finally over the place on my chest where my own blood had begun to pool.
As the crowd rose to its feet and began to cheer, I picked up my sword and walked away.
Twenty-Seven
When I arrived in my room and closed the door behind me, I fell to the floor as shudders wracked my body. I clenched my hands tightly, trying to stop the shaking, my breathing becoming shallow and fast. The panic was pulling me under. I had just killed a man I realised I possibly could have far too late, and then there was that flash of Demir, guilt that had no place in me flickering to life. I know this is what had to be done. There was no alternative, but suddenly I felt like a monster. My life was littered with violence, but this is the first time I felt as though I was somehow wrong for what I had done. No matter if everything he said was a lie, along with every touch, how could I be capable of killing someone that I had any affection towards?
Could I have killed my sister or my father?Yes, if I had to, I would.Visarous was wrong about me being too weak for my throne, but he was right that I was undeserving. His death proved how deep the darkness ran within me. How tainted I was. I didn’t know a single ruler, other than King Sebastian, who would have done what I did, and that likeness scared me.
Soon, my breathing levelled out as my thoughts began to calm, and I dragged myself into bed. I didn’t bother to changemy clothes still covered in both of our blood and then I lay there on my side for hours staring at the stone wall. A heaviness cloaked my body, leaving me unable to move. I had nothing within me. Sienna knocked on my door to check on me, but I couldn’t even muster the strength to open my lips and utter a sound.
