“That is not nothing, Honey,”I growl, allowing the anger to come back again. I ball my fist and walk around in little circles. I bite on my fist in frustration. She should have told me!
“I told you I’m fine! Stop worrying,”she argues.“Oh and by the way, we found clothes and weapons in a cave near the mountain. Where are you?”She trembles like nothing happened, reading my thoughts effortlessly. She acts like she is fine, but I know she is not. I can feel it in my stomach. My gut is telling me.
Fuck, fuck! Fuck! I need to get to her, keep her safe.
“Why are you acting like you are planning on killing someone?” Caleb suggests, pointing his finger at me. “I hope it is not me.” He shrugs, chuckling as he holds his shoulders up. I can’t help but stare at him, fuming.
I am able to kill anyone right now. Despite the fact he became my comfort person in this trial and almost acts like I am his friend, he doesn’t know what I am capable of. I don’t want to think of it. I always try to fight and deny what I am.
A monster.
Murderous demon if things get too heated.
The only title I have ever proofed myself to live up to.
The one thing the king turned me into. I’m not good enough and my signet isn’t the strongest. My brother is the better fighter and losing means punishment. My mind brings me back to the first time. Mom had just left, and I was only five years old when the king decided to do things differently. I see my brother in front of me, holding a sword. Holding a sword like no kid should do. He swung it towards me, with his right hand. I had two little daggers to defend myself. We had training session before. But I just couldn’t hurt my brother. I threw a dagger at him, and tried to hold it midair, trying to show the king what I got. Of course my brother still won.
Disgust runs up in my chest and I almost get the urge to puke.
I feel the king’s eyes on me as he left me in the dungeons.
‘Remember how it feels so you will win next time. Develop a more important signet, grow yours stronger. Do something.’
All I ever wanted was to make him proud. To be loved by the king. To be loved by my father.
I was so scared.
So young.
So dumb.
But I’m not young, scared, or dumb anymore. He ruined me and finally got what he wanted. I am not capable of loving and don’t deserve to be loved. I will never make him proud, but it is still my incentive to make someone proud and never be humiliated like that again.
“Hello, you hear me? Where are you?”Eliane breaks in. I huff. Since Eliane blocked me out, we marched. It must have been over an hour, maybe even two. From here I can see the mountain. It is still far, but it is coming closer.
“I can see the mountain, but we are not there yet. I think we can reach the mountain before it turns dark, but we have to climb tomorrow.”I conclude, my shoulders still stiff in the air, my voice raw with frustration. I communicate to Caleb right away.
“I told Eliane we would try to get to the mountain tonight.” He nods his head in agreement.
“That’s fine,”she whispers. “See you then.”Shit. She is going to block me out again.
“Oh and Honey, don’t block me out again, will you?” I instruct her. She doesn’t answer me, but I can feel her presence in my mind. That is something at least.
The sun starts to disappear behind the mountain that can’t be more than a mile away. Twelve miles normally wouldn’t take a day to walk, but without a map and only the light to guide us, weended up going the wrong way a few times. As Caleb and I chat during our walk, I feel Eliane coming closer. His black buzz cut afro is filled with dust and his dark brown skin glows with sweat.
“So what is going on between you and Gwen?” he asks, looking up at me as we stomp through the dark forest. “Since you seem to hate her.” Eliane was right. This part of the forest is dark. The trees reach high and especially now it is dusk outside it doesn’t bring the magical feeling and comfort the brighter part of the forest did. They have branches that are broken off and look like spikes. Caleb felt Gwen coming closer too, but informed me she wasn’t near the mountain yet. Or that is what he told me at least. I am surprised we haven’t come across her as we walked this way.
“I don’t know. She acted like a spoiled princess when we met and doesn’t seem to like me.” I shrug. Caleb flat out laughs at me.
“You got it all wrong, mate.” My feet slow down, and I turn to him. I ruffle my hand through my dark brown hair. It is damp from sweat and I must look as gross as I feel. I don’t really care, though.
“What are you talking about?” I imply.
“She thinks your are hot.” He throws his head back. “Like, she mentions you are exactly her type in every conversation we have,” he tells me laughing, raising one of his eyebrows. “I don’t think she is the only one who thinks that.” My face freezes. I have gotten girls’ attention before. I am not an innocent little boy, but all girls care about are my looks or title. I am a prince after all. Not that I feel like it. A low growl escapes my throat.
“Well, tell her I am not interested,” I continue. I clear my throat. “Maybe better tell them all I am not interested, because I don’t love—ever.” I slice one of the plant leaves to clear the pathway. Caleb has this stupid grin on his face.
“You pretend like you’re so smart, but you’re acting really dumb, you know that, right?” he teases. It feels like he is putting pressure on my open wound. He probably doesn’t even intend to, but still that shit hurts. I am not dumb, and I will do anything to prove it.
