I try to scream it at Kailey, but no words leave my mouth. I am frozen to the spot and my heart rings in my ears. My sight goes blurry and my hands shake like I am having a seizure.
I. can’t. fucking. breathe.
Please, not now.
“Eliane, are you alright?” Kailey moves in my sight. I still can’t see sharp. The words leave my mouth quietly.
“I-I need to get out.” I shudder.
She grabs my hand and leads me out. She stays calm and doesn’t say anything. Oh, I hope she isn’t mad at me. I don’t want to be a burden. My hands are still shaking as we sit down on a rock, next to a pool of water. I hold my knees tight and fold my head over. My hands cover my face.
“I am so sorry,” I whimper, rocking myself back and forward.
“Stt, there is nothing to be sorry about. You just had a panic attack. That is all.” She wraps her around me as we glare over the water.
“I know,” I breathe out. “I hate small spaces. They make it worse.”
“Make them worse? Do you always have them?”
I nod my head slightly in agreement. This is not how I planned my day to go.
“It is because when I was young I couldn’t leave the house I think,” I whisper very softly. She gives me a hand and lifts me up.
“You got this,” she says. I smile thankfully at her. There is only one thing I don’t understand.
“Why are you so nice to me? You entered this thing for a reason, right?” I pursue.
“I don’t know. I just think you’re nice. And I am not here to kill or hurt anyone,” she explains. Her gaze is focused on something and she is fidgeting with her fingers. She stops me from asking more about it. Clearly it is not something she likes talking about.
“Let’s grab out stuff and find Hazel and Braxton.”
So that is what we do. We get dressed in better clothes and take some weapons. I change into black, tight fighting leathers that look kind of the same as my sparring clothes except they are big and made from leather, but they are both black. They hug my body. I also put on some better boots and throw some more daggers in my leg belt. We decide to also take some camping stuff and bundle that together before finally walking out of there.
We’re thinking about what to do next. We come to a conclusion, talk to Braxton and Hazel to discuss where they are.
I try to find Braxton again, but he finds me first. And for the second time today—I let him in.
Chapter 16
Braxton
My throat tightens as I feel her tension through our bond. Fucking hell. My heart pounds in my chest, hair sticks to my face and my ears ring like crazy. If I feel this through our bond, I can’t even imagine how she must feel like now.
“Who hurt you?”I ask demandingly. I sound harsh, but right now I am fine with that. Even in my head her voice sounds soft and vulnerable.
“Nobody,”she says way braver than her trembling words betray.
“Then why the fuck can’t I breathe?”
I feel her stopping, biting her tongue, swallowing her words. If I want her to trust me I should do things her way.
Soft and polite.
“Come on, Honey, what happened?”I empathize, trying to ease my voice and relax my jaw a bit.
“I am fine now,”she falters.“Just had a panic attack, that’s all.”
A panic attack?
