“I know, Goldie. You are a lover not a fighter. Except what you have in you is magical, powerful most people will say. They see your power as fierce,” he replies, cupping my face. “I don’t. You are the fierce, Goldie. You can do great things if you start to trustyourself. You are in control. I don’t suspect you to kill anyone if it isn’t necessary.” He drags me up to my feet, pulling me into a hug.
“I am sorry, Da. I hope I can come back to you.” I sob out onto his shoulder.
“You will, Goldie. Our plan will work. Besides that, I got something in mind that will help you. You are the most strong and powerful woman I know, beautiful. If everything gets too much, I have something that can help you. Something you can rely on,” he says, smiling softly. I take a good look at him. His eyes are watery, but they represent something. I didn’t recognize it at first, but as I peer through my narrowed eyes, I see it.
Hope.
That is something I haven’t seen on him for a while. And if I would trust someone with my life, it is Da.
“What is it?” I breathe out, still holding Da close.
“You will see.” He winks at me. We walk together towards the waterfall. When I finally calm down, we decide that it is time to start practicing.
“Breathe in, breathe out,” Da tells me, breathing with me. He knows how I struggle with this anxiety, and when my breath pitches, I can get panic attacks. He helps me prevent them by helping me focus on controlled breath and emotions. I close my eyes, put my hands on my stomach, and I start to focus on the tingle going through my body. It starts in my stomach but it slides towards my head, legs, and arms. When it finally reaches my heart, I know it is time to wield. A growl rises from my chest. I breathe out. Putting both my hands up in the air. The tingle rises to my hands, and I feel something inside me explode.
I open my eyes for a bit and everything is dark. I look around, widening my eyes and my jaw falls to the ground.
“Da, did I d—” The sun hurries back before I can finish my sentence, explaining I only moved the sun behind a cloud. I hold my breath as the lights return again. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. A feeling of disappointment washes over me, a yawn escaping my mouth. Fuck.
“It is okay, Goldie. No one can do it just at once.” He furrows his brows together, making his thinking wrinkles visible. He clenches his jaw. “I know, but I just thought maybe I could do it. I read all those books and practiced so hard on the simpler things.” I shrug, trying to shake this uneasy feeling off.
It doesn’t leave me alone.
I try again.
Again.
And again, until my legs give out.
Da lifts me up in his arms. “It is okay, little Goldie. You will get it. You are my superhero. You are the bravest girl I know,” he whispers in my ear. The last thing I see are his worried eyes before I pass out in his arms.
The next few days blur together. Wake up, eat, train, practice my signet, read, eat, sleep, and repeat. This routine holds for some days until it finally breaks. That morning, I get another letter. Luckily for the king, this one has my name on it. It’s addressed to me, not just to “the girl with powers.” Apparently, my little outburst on stage wasn’t for nothing after all.
To: Fintan and Eliane
As I said during the announcement three days ago, all candidates are expected a week before the trials at my palace. Every one of you will live and train at a side building of the palace. You will have the ability and time to get to know each other, which is probably much needed.
I expect all of you to be here tomorrow morning, April the 8th, at 8 a.m. strictly. I will give another short speech about what you will do this week. I assume you know where you have tobe. You can bring two relatives to say goodbye to. You won’t see them again until after the trials, or not at all if you aren’t that lucky.
I will see you tomorrow.
P.S. Wear something nice for the next announcement that will represent your signet.
Regards,
The King of Drimyé and leader of Ilanos
Chadd Malik Dunkeld
