Ryan sat up straightaway, settling himself beside me, as if we hadn’t been so close, face to face, a moment ago, bodies leaning comfortably into one another’s, as if they had been perfectly molded that way.
I blinked, righting myself in the same casual way as I took in my roommate, carefully stepping in as her eyes narrowed between us.
“Ryan”—Natalie cocked her head to the side—“I didn’t realize that you ever came over this way on campus.”
“Hi, Natalie. I’m with a friend,” Ryan said, still leaning against my bed frame. “I didn’t know you were the roommate.”
I hadn’t realized Ryan knew my roommate so well. The campus, of course, wasn’t a large one, clearly, and it wasn’t like Natalie wasn’t well enough liked in the social pool not to have her nose in everyone’s business. Still, for some reason, I’d sort of thought this piece of my life had managed to be untouched.
“Housing lotteries surprise everyone,” Natalie said, unceremoniously dropping her backpack against the side of her desk with a thud.
Slowly, Ryan sat up farther, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and taking his now-melted ice pack with him. Hopping down, he did so with only a minor wince now. “I still have some work to catch up on back at my place since everyone else is probably out at practice. I’m going to head out.”
“Oh,” I started, turning my legs to sit up over the bed as I watched him haul his backpack over his shoulder. Reaching to the side, I folded the screen where our movie still played, nearly silent. “Okay.”
“Let me know when you hear anything about your Halloween event, okay?”
Natalie perked up from across the room, leaning with her hands behind her back.
“Oh, you haven’t heard then?” At neither of our replies, Natalie raised her sharp eyebrows. “I guess not. The student council had their meeting to discuss last-minute additions to the social calendar schedule, including your Halloween thing.”
“They did?” I asked when she didn’t continue, as if this were also new information.
Natalie turned back toward her desk to unpack her things, as if Ryan and I were no longer of interest to her after she was the one who interrupted us. “Your funding request has been denied. You’ll get an email. Lauren usually writes them. She has a gentle touch with that sort of thing. I’m sure she’d also say hi to you, Ryan. She mentioned you haven’t called her back or something?”
Pressing his lips together, Ryan nodded tightly in response.
I wasn’t shocked by any of what Natalie had told me, and yet I still couldn’t help myself. They hadn’t given my event a chance, had they?
“Did they even look over my plans?”
“Just the messenger on this one. I’m only an extra on council if there’s a tie.”
Taking a deep breath, I tipped my head at Ryan, who was studying me. He seemed to be waiting for something. Maybe for me to bust out in anger or maybe tears.
I hated to disappoint as I sat on the edge of the bed. I glanced down at my leg, where Ryan placed a hand. He gave my knee a squeeze.
“That’s too bad,” he commented. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”
My heartbeat pulsed once, hard against my chest, even once his hand disappeared. I could still feel the tingle of that stupid squeeze. I also still felt the strangeness of the rejection he had given me a moment ago. “Sure.”
He grinned. “Good night. See ya, Natalie.”
Not looking up, she gave a short wave. Natalie’s eyes were stuck on him all the way out the door. He shut it behind him, carefully turning the knob so it would slide instead of slam.
I snapped out of whatever sort of trance that had fallen over the room. I slid off the edge of my slightly rumpled bedspread.
I rubbed some of the thick lotion Ryan had been sniffing earlier into my hands, trying not to wring them in between breaths of vanilla and chamomile. So, that was it. The planning and ideas of how I was going to dress up Barnett for Samhain were over. All the hard work and time I’d spent trying to do something worthwhile at this college for myself had been ground into the dust.
A tug nagged at me in my chest. Like Ryan perhaps, I’d expected myself to be more upset.
I glanced toward the door once more, catching Natalie’s glance. She leaned across the room to switch onmysalt lamp, casting the room in a warm glow.
“Would you like some?” I raised my hands at her, coated in lotion.
Natalie scoffed.
Thought not.
