His hesitation lasts only a heartbeat before he pulls me tightly against him, holding me close, like he knows I need this more than anything right now. His one hand rests on the back of my head, the other tightens around my waist.
“You’re scaring me, sweetheart,” he whispers, his lips brushing the top of my head.
But I don’t answer. I can’t. My throat is too tight, my chest too full. All I can do is hold on tighter as fresh tears stream down my face, soaking into his shirt.
I don’t know how long we stand like that, until a throat clears behind us. Slowly, I lift my head as Karan speaks.
“I told ma’am this was a bad idea.”
Sidharth’s jaw tightens. “You and I will have a talk later.”
I quickly turn back to Sidharth and place a hand on his chest. His eyes meet mine, the hardness in them softening.
“It’s not his fault,” I say quietly. “I forced him to bring me here.”
Sidharth lets out a sigh, then leans down and presses a kiss to my forehead. “He still shouldn’t have brought you here.”
“Please don’t give him a hard time,” I whisper, my fingers tightening slightly on his shirt.
“That’s yet to be decided,” he mutters, before he shifts his gaze to Karan. “I’m taking Nisha. You lock up, then meet us there.”
Karan gives a silent nod, lifting his chin in agreement.
Without another word, Sidharth leads me out of the apartment, his hand steady on my back as we walk to his car. He opens the door and helps me into the passenger seat, then jogs around to the driver’s side. A moment later, he starts the engine and pulls out of the parking lot.
Twenty minutes into the drive, and neither of us has said a word. I keep staring out the window, watching the city lights blur past, while he stays focused on the road. His jaw is tight, his hands steady on the wheel. Finally, unable to take the silence any longer, I speak.
“I thought I was ready to walk into that house again. But the moment I stepped in, everything came rushing back—her laughter echoing down the hallway, the way she’d always hum while making coffee, that silly pink mug she refused to throw away even after it cracked. It all felt too real, like time hadn’t moved at all.” I fall silent as Sidharth’s hand settles over mine, steadying it on my lap.
“I know how much it’s messing with your head, sweetheart, and that’s why I didn’t want you to be there,” he says, and I draw in a shaky breath, trying to steady the ache before I continue.
“I miss her every damn day. And no matter how much I try to let go of the guilt, there’s this voice in my head that keeps whispering maybe it was my fault…” I swallow hard, eyes glistening as I turn to look at him. “I don’t even know if I miss her more… or hate myself for still being here when she’s not.”
He lets out a sad huff and looks at me before turning to the road. “Nisha, she wouldn’t want you to drown in that guilt. She’d want you to remember her the way she lived, not the way she left.”
Unable to get my emotions in check, feeling weak and overwhelmed, I suddenly blurt out, “I don’t want to go home.”
“Where do you want to go?” he asks, glancing at me briefly before turning his eyes back to the road.
“Your place,” I whisper, summoning all the courage I’ve been holding in. I don’t know if it sounds too much, but right now, being with him is the only space where I don’t have to be strong, where I don’t have to pretend I’m okay, where it’s safe to just fall apart.
“You want to come to my place?” he asks as the car slows at a red light. He turns his head towards me, and the second our eyes meet, my heart starts to race. I nod, not trusting myself to speak.
“If that’s where you want to be, then that’s exactly where we’ll go,” he says, lifting my hand to his lips for a kiss before placing it on his thigh, covering it with his own and holding it there.
Then, without a word, he turns towards his house, his fingers never once leaving mine during the entire drive.
We reach his place not long after. He steps out and walks around to my side just as I unbuckle. When he opens the door and holds out his hand, I take it and slide out.
“Are you hungry?” he asks, lacing his fingers through mine as we walk up the steps to his porch.
“Starving,” I reply.
“Let’s fix that.” He smiles at me as he unlocks the door and pushes it open. We step inside and head straight to the living room. I sink into the couch, exhaustion settling into my bones.
“What are you in the mood to eat?” he asks, settling beside me.
“Burger, fries, and a Coke,” I say without hesitation.
